prashasan 🍅

[prashasan 🍅 @mydearestpi]

I want to take clean cups out of the dishwasher and put them in the cupboard at home.
And the next morning, I want to watch my wife drink from them.

[NI @KisssmyyK]

This boring ass planet no aliens, dragons or giants just dumb ass people & bills

[Soleil @soleiljolina]

I’d talk to somebody and they’d be thinking we have good chemistry whole time I’m just a charismatic individual

[ً @artfuIchaos]

having an intrusive thought and shaking my head to show the mind readers i don't approve

[ً @artfuIchaos]

laying in bed with the nervous system of someone going to war.

[riley ♡ @rileyapparently]

men be like aw my life is getting hard lemme get rid of the girl who loves me unconditionally

[🎮 @foreeeeeal]

In med school, I took an elective called "Stress". foolishly thinking i was going to learn about meditation and yoga. Instead the professor spent 12 weeks proving that being poor or a minority literally destroys your health on a molecular level, and I think about that every day.

[bald ann dowd @ali_sivi]

every day i wake up and look in the mirror and say be gentle with yourself today you stupid fucking bitch

[kiesha @kiesha9i]

Best part of the day is when my cat follows me to bed, army crawls under the covers until she’s right next to my face, i ask “do you want some pillow?” and move over so she can have some pillow. biggest reason i choose to stay alive tbh

[kiesha @kiesha9i]

if cats are the perfect predators why do they keep getting a single claw stuck on my shirt

["IVY" @OPENSORECH0RUS]

Being the Only One that Does Dishes in ur house will Twist ur Mental Images of your roommates into something Ugly and Inhuman

[kiesha @kiesha9i]

Cats are hilarious. They'll act like they can't hear a word you're saying, all while those little ears are angled directly at you. Nice try. Stop ignoring me, you menace.

[Errai @errai]

Oh man I (washes hands) love cooking so much (washes hands) and it’s so easy to (washes hands) make anything you want

[kiesha @kiesha9i]

My cat vomited on the tiles instead of the rug. Give him a standing ovation for doing the bare minimum.

[kiesha @kiesha9i]

quitting my job to pursue my real passion. kissing my cat on the top of its head.

[h @ruinsunflower]

using my fat cat as a pillow and I can hear all the gulugulugulu inside his stomach

[prashasan 🍅 @mydearestpi]

i wish I could text my cats and tell them about my whereabouts so they can chill when I'm not around

[kiesha @kiesha9i]

"Cats don't actually love you"
A cat is a small creature in the middle of the food chain that is fully aware that you are a very large thing that could stomp its head in at any moment and yet it chooses to rest its tiny little head on your leg for a nap and spreads out on the floor near you exposing its belly and its most sensitive organs. It brings dead mice and bugs to you to share food.
Don't you get it? This tiny thing trusts you. It wants to help you too. It licks your leg thinking that it's helping. It kneads on you to find comfort. It shares its body warmth with you in the cold and gives you your space in the heat. It hisses at other mammals it sees outside including other cats in an effort to protect its family.
Cats love you so so much. But they will keep trying to eat plastic.

[૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა @maidenprincesss]

the way i just thought of this now😭😭😭😭😭😭😭