Myk Melez

Skeptic, stoic, slapstic. Athlete, aesthete, agamete. Descriptivist, punctuator, serial commarian.

[Myk Melez @mykmelez]

Why can't cows be ballerinas? Because they lactose.

[Myk Melez @mykmelez]

What would Scooby Doo?

[Myk Melez @mykmelez]

No more "i ♥️ u!!!"s. The language is leaving me in style lints.

[Myk Melez @mykmelez]

Democracy may die in darkness, but I'd still prefer to be able to invert the colors of the Washington Post when reading it at night.

[Myk Melez @mykmelez]

My Bianchi tumbles into the sea. That'll be the day I go back to Cannondale.

[Myk Melez @mykmelez]

If you're having word problems, I feel bad for you, pun. I got 99 problems, but which witch ain't one.

[Myk Melez @mykmelez]

A yeast or egg hunt.

[Myk Melez @mykmelez]

What do you call a search for either a fungal leavener that is a rising star in the bakery business or a painted preborn poultry product?

[Myk Melez @mykmelez]

How much dust might a dust mite dust if a dust mite might dust dust?

[Myk Melez @mykmelez]

A crustacean and a cephalopod navigate a coral reef. What a lobstacle course!

[Myk Melez @mykmelez]

Skeptic, stoic, slapstic. Athlete, aesthete, agamete. Descriptivist, punctuator, serial commarian.

[Myk Melez @mykmelez]

Well, they say it takes all kinds,
and I guess that's mostly true.
But we're gonna leave you behind,
because it don't take you.

[Myk Melez @mykmelez]

"You must lash out with every limb, like the octopus who plays the drums."

[Myk Melez @mykmelez]

Defend the republic.

[Myk Melez @mykmelez]

On my home planet, I'm the allergen, and trees sneeze when I breeze by.

[Myk Melez @mykmelez]

If I was a Jedum, I wouldn't be wan. I'd be Obi Awesome Kenobi!

[Myk Melez @mykmelez]

LCNSPLT

[Myk Melez @mykmelez]

As Odysseus was lost at sea, no man nor woman, no matter how great, is immune from some or other ill fate.

[Myk Melez @mykmelez]

Instead of a fern greeting
Is pound edge tofu whack
Opopo opopo o-

[Myk Melez @mykmelez]

I'd rather have an iller kink stint than a killer instinct.