Jay Prezioa

I don't mind Marmite.

[Scroobius Pip @Scroobiuspipyo]

I think Biden is far from perfect.
Far from the solution or the long term answer.
But I’m glad THIS guy is in power rather than that other dickhead.

[Jay Prezioa @mymatejay]

@rjwnah @UniofHerts I will, you be safe now 👍🏾

[Jenny Lawson @TheBloggess]

Are there zoos that just have dogs? And you can pet them and give them treats and take naps with them? I feel like that should be a thing.

[Jay Prezioa @mymatejay]

Booked a seat at the cinema, drank half a glass of wine, fell asleep, and missed the show. 2019 is going great for me right now.

[Jay Prezioa @mymatejay]

Like me and attractive people at clubs then. https://t.co/Gd36WvOhl9

[UtterlyInteresting @UtterlyInterest]

A gentle reminder to @empiremagazine to check your copy before you go to print. 👍🏻

[Stuart Heritage @stuheritage]

The only untainted men I admire left are Asterix and a pillow that I just drew a face on

[Jay Prezioa @mymatejay]

Found my phone under the sofa, literally the last place as I was deep cleaning my flat. I'm still not sure it was worth it.

[Jay Prezioa @mymatejay]

Thought I'd been busted but they've just moved nearer the fire. Wondering if I should pitch in with help? Really need closure on this.

[Jay Prezioa @mymatejay]

Her "You're always so dramatic"
Him "No, you're the dramaticist!" Guys, you're both going in my screenplay.

[Jay Prezioa @mymatejay]

This is the same guy I heard a few weeks back saying to his mate, he could take over any city with a hundred men and a tank...

[Jay Prezioa @mymatejay]

She's saying he doesn't listen and he keeps interrupting saying she doesn't hear him. Now they've lit the fire pit. Could get real here...

[Jay Prezioa @mymatejay]

South Africans next door are having a domestic. It seems quite serious but because I keep imagining the guy is Sharlto Cople, it's hilarious

[Charlie Brooker @charltonbrooker]

Brexit is as complex as it is shit. Like planning the moon landings blindfold, heading for a planet of wet turds in a wet turd spaceship.

[Mashable @mashable]

Imagine having a rave here? One word: amazing!