THICK TEXAS BEER

If your house catches on fire, and there ain’t no water around. Throw your chili out the window. Let the doggone shack burn down.

[THICK TEXAS BEER @mynameisntmud]

WATCH MY BOYS STREAM, GIVE THEM MONEY.

[cryptidcreek @cryptid_creek]

🏳️‍⚧️PLEASE RT🏳️‍🌈
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[THICK TEXAS BEER @mynameisntmud]

REV UP THOSE RELISTENS BOYS. MAGNUS ARCHIVES 2 IS IN THE WORKS.

[THICK TEXAS BEER @mynameisntmud]

Life ain’t easy for a horse named glue.

[THICK TEXAS BEER @mynameisntmud]

Who’s collecting the sand. And why is Rattle Snake Jake so cool.

[THICK TEXAS BEER @mynameisntmud]

Rango goes hard actually.

[Themperor Kennedée🐸🏳️‍🌈 @kennedytcooper]

Rich people don't snitch on each other, the rest of us should take a lesson

[THICK TEXAS BEER @mynameisntmud]

The ideal Uber driver’s music cannot be remembered in 5 minutes. I want it to pass like tears in the rain.

[THICK TEXAS BEER @mynameisntmud]

WE GOT A NEW ZELDA TRAILER AND NO ONE TOLD ME.

[THICK TEXAS BEER @mynameisntmud]

@cryptid_creek Your rage serves only to strengthen me

[THICK TEXAS BEER @mynameisntmud]

My bus ride to work is almost exactly the length of Alice’s Restaurant. I could listen to that song almost every day, twice a day. I wonder what that would do to a person.

[THICK TEXAS BEER @mynameisntmud]

@SeannBorba @UberFacts Short answer: The Texas govt. has very particular opinions about who should have sex how and for what reasons.

[Got CTE from playing Peek-a-Boo @doulbedoink]

When a girl says “Not me entering my reputation era right as virgo season starts!” It means she is about to blast you with an elemental beam weapon

[THICK TEXAS BEER @mynameisntmud]

Lord help me I’m listening to The Magnus Archives again.

[THICK TEXAS BEER @mynameisntmud]

I haven’t hear every ABBA song. But I’ve never heard an ABBA song I didn’t like.

[THICK TEXAS BEER @mynameisntmud]

@elon_saveus @Ank65518757 @HoustonChron You’ve dedicated your entire username to sucking off Elon Musk. You’re clearly an expert in the field of insulting yourself.

[THICK TEXAS BEER @mynameisntmud]

@Ank65518757 @HoustonChron Funny your dad said the same thing to me.

[Quinton Reviews @Q_Review]

I don't want to make any promises, but the next few days would be a really good time to rewatch the iCarly / Victorious videos

[THICK TEXAS BEER @mynameisntmud]

I wanna play the new saints row game so bad, but I know if I get my heart broken by it I’ll probably quit video games entirely.