Stan Zbornak

My brother is on another level. These are the things he says. Also, he's 20.

[Stan Zbornak @mypoorbrother]

"So, to melt the ice I'll just pour some hot water down the driveway."

[Stan Zbornak @mypoorbrother]

Me: "You went in the ice and snow with no shoes on?? WHY?" Brother: "Because my shoes were ALL THE WAY IN MY ROOM."

[Stan Zbornak @mypoorbrother]

"You hate your job, you just walk in there and tell motherfuckers the job is shit until they change what you don't like about it."

[Stan Zbornak @mypoorbrother]

"I just go to bars and try to drink. What's the worst that could happen?"

[Stan Zbornak @mypoorbrother]

"I hate fake Christmas trees. They just don't seem real, you know?"

[Stan Zbornak @mypoorbrother]

"Jesus was born in December, and then he died in March? I don't understand how we celebrate that so close together."

[Stan Zbornak @mypoorbrother]

(While watching the dog show) "LOOK AT THAT DOG'S NIPPLES."

[Stan Zbornak @mypoorbrother]

Brother: "Who is this man on T.V.?" Me: "That's Gloria Gaynor."

[Stan Zbornak @mypoorbrother]

Me: "What do you think about Thanksgiving?" Brother: "I don't get where the black Pilgrims went. Did they become the slaves?"

[Stan Zbornak @mypoorbrother]

"I want Kwanzaa like the Jews. Eight days of presents. Awesome."

[Stan Zbornak @mypoorbrother]

"If Lady Gaga were a man, she wouldn't be able to sing. Like, she couldn't sing like a girl."

[Stan Zbornak @mypoorbrother]

I don't really care about the economy. How does it even affect me?

[Stan Zbornak @mypoorbrother]

If something flies in front of the moon...can you see it everywhere?

[Stan Zbornak @mypoorbrother]

Brother: I want to go to Cuba. Me: You can't. Brother: Yes I can. Me: You really can't. Brother: YOU DON'T THINK I CAN DO ANYTHING.

[Stan Zbornak @mypoorbrother]

If they can make stuff for movies like the weapons in GI Joe, why cant they do it in real life?