the myriad

i have severe social anxiety and am queer, trans, disabled, geeky, multiple, poly, a ritual abuse surivor, and a linguist. trying to live in the tao as i can.

[the myriad @myriad]

@wolfdyke absence or like a low point

[the myriad @myriad]

hope definitely has returned to abeyance.

[the myriad @myriad]

both luxuries I don't get anymore. or hardly ever.

[the myriad @myriad]

decompressing with beer and chips. have to thank the broken ones for letting us get through that. I know it put a LOT of pressure on them.

[the myriad @myriad]

@ATG @wolfdyke you are definitely HAWT. and gorgeous. just my opinion.

[the myriad @myriad]

holy crap glad job interview is over. no idea how I did. so much anxiety and dissociation, I don't even feel the Xanax I took

[the myriad @myriad]

@lazyqueer thanks

[the myriad @myriad]

and of course I got 4 hours of sleep last night. why would there be more?

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@lazyqueer poor one!

[the myriad @myriad]

super anxious. job interview tomorrow is definitely looming at this point. wish i knew what would help all of us til then

[the myriad @myriad]

and musing about it calls the clouds back. but that's okay. i could tell it would be short-lived.

[the myriad @myriad]

i wonder... how to hold on to functioning when we do find it?
what's the best use of our time until we lose it again?

[the myriad @myriad]

but we always lose touch with that again, and get clouded over in a million ways, a million kinds of mental debris and conditions

[the myriad @myriad]

it really is programming that keeps us from achieving. sometimes for a moment when certain ones are out so much seems possible.

[the myriad @myriad]

took me two days to clean the kitchen. now I just hope it's not another month before I can again.

[the myriad @myriad]

had bread and butter for dinner. i'm totally a century ago.

[the myriad @myriad]

if you haven't seen #DudesGreetingDudes yet, you should check it out. it's awesome.

[the myriad @myriad]

at least given my new scale. actually given that i was VERY productive.

[the myriad @myriad]

but i did manage to put the bread ingredients in again. this time with the kneading paddle!! so i guess i was pretty productive.

[the myriad @myriad]

got stuff to clean with at the store (thanks to @lazyqueer) but probably can't clean today... exhausted.