Your dirty roommate

[Your dirty roommate @myroommatesez]

"@ItsBMcKnight knows more about your pussy than you do." #Overheard

[Your dirty roommate @myroommatesez]

You misspelled bonerz! It's B-E-A-U-N-E-R-Z." #Overheard

[Your dirty roommate @myroommatesez]

"I get mad bonerz." #Overheard

[Your dirty roommate @myroommatesez]

G: What's that on your shirt?
B: Shoulder jizz.

#Overheard

[Your dirty roommate @myroommatesez]

"You might wanna close your junk-hole." #Overheard

[Your dirty roommate @myroommatesez]

"I didn't know you could snort Tourette's." #Overheard

[Your dirty roommate @myroommatesez]

You better go to sleep naked to make it easier on me. #Overheard

[Your dirty roommate @myroommatesez]

"I was going to mouth-fuck you awake." #Overheard

[Your dirty roommate @myroommatesez]

I don't know what you said, but I'm assuming it means your butt hurts. #Overheard

[Your dirty roommate @myroommatesez]

My erection went down from the Mexicans.

[Your dirty roommate @myroommatesez]

#Overheard "You don't play Angry Birds with your hands, you play it with your heart!"

[Your dirty roommate @myroommatesez]

It tastes like cold, buttery buttholes.

[Your dirty roommate @myroommatesez]

No, your first wish was that I corndog you in your front butt. Wish granted!

[Your dirty roommate @myroommatesez]

At least you don't fart when I squeeze your titties.

[Your dirty roommate @myroommatesez]

If I was a chiropractor I'd be in jail.

[Your dirty roommate @myroommatesez]

I can't find your nipple!

[Your dirty roommate @myroommatesez]

"I can titty-fuck you standing up." "That's just because I'm short."

[Your dirty roommate @myroommatesez]

Don't you lotion my nuts!

[Your dirty roommate @myroommatesez]

"You go eat your damn Oreos and leave me alone."

[Your dirty roommate @myroommatesez]

"We're gonna have to find a small Asian boy to fist you if that's what you want."