My therapist told me
"Habits like smoking, drinking, chronic lack of sleep, or disordered eating are often forms of self-sabotage. When you suppress a massive amount of anger toward others, that energy has to go somewhere. So, you subconsciously start destroying yourself just to release the feelings you've bottled" And that hit me like a brick"
life update:
fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
michelle obama said you have to know how to exist when life is just life.
she said “sometimes it’s like, this is not exciting. i’m not winning. i’m not losing. i’m not achieving. it’s not a party. i don’t have friends around everyday.
most of life is just the nothing in the middle. most of life is just ordinary. you gotta be happy being a little bored.” and I felt that.
I feel like I don't fit in anywhere, there is no place truly for me that accepts me for who I really am, I can't even speak my mind because I think my thoughts & opinions don't really matter. Es krim pudding gyukaku
want to manifest quicker and stop being so anxious all the time? the answer is to stop putting anyone or anything on a pedestal. a job is just a job. a person is just a person. a title is just a title. if they accept you, good. if they don't, you'll find better always. you have to detach from the outcome. enjoy the journey because your success is certain.