Nathan Alexander

Work hard and be nice to people - @mcsweeneys @SlackjawHumor @PointsInCase @DailyDrunkMag

[Nathan Alexander @nalexanderhello]

I got a piece published by McSweeney’s and I couldn’t be more excited.

It’s about trying to impress the older members of your family with silliness sprinkled throughout. Give it a read if you’d like!

[McSweeney's @mcsweeneys]

"Well, I had a feeling it would happen eventually. I’ve been working hard at family dinners leading up to Thanksgiving, and I’ve just been trying to get better every day so I’d be ready if the opportunity ever presented itself."
https://t.co/D0ZqrGjrj2

[Nathan Alexander @nalexanderhello]

TRAGIC: LONG TIME HOT SHOT DISH TOWEL DEMOTED TO THE RANK OF RAG

[Nathan Alexander @nalexanderhello]

Bro out here tryna standardize and maximize output of self-fulfillment 😂🤣😂🤣

[Shibetoshi Nakamoto @BillyM2k]

what hobby has the best “cost to satisfaction” ratio?

[Nathan Alexander @nalexanderhello]

WWJD (what would jason derulo)

[Nathan Alexander @nalexanderhello]

On repeat today

[Nathan Alexander @nalexanderhello]

You can’t say kill on social media or the algorithm will flag it. Instead you have to say “unalive” or “met JD Vance”

[anna !!! :)) 🇵🇸🌸✨🌸🇵🇸 @frogs4girls]

(mouth suspiciously full of things shaped like stuff from the last 20 years) i don’t know

[Nathan Alexander @nalexanderhello]

Costco on a Sunday afternoon like I’m a stranger to fear

[Nathan Alexander @nalexanderhello]

John Mulaney is really in his bag with Everybody’s Live. So delightfully strange. He gets to put his weird little twist on the classic showbiz event of late night talk show. The only thing that would make it better is having standup performances.

[Nathan Alexander @nalexanderhello]

Inflation’s out of control

[Nathan Alexander @nalexanderhello]

defended Drake in the court of law because I’m a professional public defender and everyone deserves the right to an attorney (unfortunately)

[Nathan Alexander @nalexanderhello]

Oh you tell it like it is? You’re not rude just honest? Very cool man very cool. You must have many fulfilling relationships. I bet people smile at the sound of your voice most definitely 👍

[Nathan Alexander @nalexanderhello]

“iOS 18.3.2 is available and will be installed tonight.”

Sure it will, kid

[Nathan Alexander @nalexanderhello]

remember the robot baby octopus from toy story? this is him now. feel old yet?

[Nathan Alexander @nalexanderhello]

Another joke? I hardly know her joke.

[Nathan Alexander @nalexanderhello]

Currently reading this book and I’m liking it. When I saw the Hulu series trailer a couple years ago I definitely thought it was about two people on the autism spectrum falling in love, but nope! Just Irish!

[Nathan Alexander @nalexanderhello]

I hosted an open mic last week wearing a tucked in shirt and cardigan. Thought I had it ON fr.

Almost immediately got called “Puerto Rican Mr. Rogers”. It was really funny and I’m furious.

[Pop Base @PopBase]

Justin Bieber says someone unfollowed Hailey Bieber from his Instagram account:

“Someone went on my account and unfollowed my wife
Shit is getting suss out here”

[Nathan Alexander @nalexanderhello]

They’re performing at the inauguration

[Yashar Ali 🐘 @yashar]

Meg Ryan says she and Billy Crystal are reuniting for something “iconic.”

[Nathan Alexander @nalexanderhello]

I thought he died?

[DiscussingFilm @DiscussingFilm]

David Leitch is reportedly in talks to direct ‘OCEANS 14’

Brad Pitt and George Clooney will be reprising their roles.

(Source: https://t.co/E7g7d8w8pG)