Ernest

Artist and Hawg Farmer, news fresh from the pig pen.
NaRdGristle
Join my discord:

[Ernest @nardgristle]

@mog_russEN Misleading caption, that kid is an android. Evidence attached:

[Ernest @nardgristle]

@trevorluck_ @Emilk010 Nice profile picture, woooow you lost No Nostalgia Critic November? #emberassing

[Ernest @nardgristle]

Welp... After 500 hours, 15 minutes and 3 seconds I lost No Nostalgia Critic November, but at least I can rewatch Kickassia now... @ChannelAwesome Doug, I drew this for you bro...

[Ernest @nardgristle]

@weezfan985 Haha, loser

[Ernest @nardgristle]

Just shit my pants and threw them undies in the wash, feel bad for the sucker that's at the laundromat after me

[Ernest @nardgristle]

@mrmildlyfunny @PaddyohCakes @nineinchnails Who wouldn't want to make love with the most powerful man alive today? Sounds like a you problemo...

[Ernest @nardgristle]

Was pettin one my hawgs, and the fella rolled on over so I could get at his jelly belly. Had to flip em back over, good thing I watch WWE cuz I picked that sumnabitch up like @RandyOrton

[Ernest @nardgristle]

Just groomed my pubes to look like a show poodle

[Ernest @nardgristle]

I found some footprins or tracks in the pen this morning, some body was there last night, if you are reading this please do not come back cuz if you set off my booby traps I may be legally liable

[Ernest @nardgristle]

Y'all sumpthing is comeing #alert

[Ernest @nardgristle]

@NFLonFOX I scratched my itchy penix while I was reading this tweet

[Ernest @nardgristle]

Dragged out the ol' telly to the hawg pen last night, and put on their favorite show The Cleveland Show by @SethMacFarlane and it was a scene to remember #wholesome

[Ernest @nardgristle]

Y'all, one of my hawgs is fat like lizzo #damn 😮

[Ernest @nardgristle]

Y'all is it #ok for hawgs to eat peanut shells, I was eatin some peanuts near the hawg pen and them pigs ate every last shell I threw is it #ok for them to do that

[Ernest @nardgristle]

Today is a special day, I tossed a few corndawgs in the trough to give my hawgs a special treat for bein' so dang good at what they do. Cheers to the piggs out there
#farmlife

[Ernest @nardgristle]

Walked to the hawg pen today with a bucket full of slop, and noticed that it was awfully light, nay emptay, by the time I got in the pen. Checked the bucket for a dang hole, didn't find one, but once I turned around there sat one of my hawgs lickin his lips! Cheeky bastard

[Ernest @nardgristle]

Passed out in the hawg pen today for God knows why, good thang it was a brief outage cuz one of them piggy bastards was chewin on my damn pinky. Bitin the hand that feeds em! That sumnabitch!

[Ernest @nardgristle]

Warning: Do not dump hawg waste in the tree line upwind ☹️

[Ernest @nardgristle]

Parently my neighbor doesn't want me dumpin my buckets of hawg crap in her veggie garden. What the hell is the problem? That shit's got nutrients n such in it you dumb bitch. Have fun buying fertilizer, stupid.

[Ernest @nardgristle]

Cleaned out the pen today, and filled up a whoppin' 8 1/2 buckets of pig crap, woowee, that's a lotta crud! N E Ways, this pig shiz has gotta go somewhere, and I ain't got a clue what to do with it. Suggestions are welcome.