M.A.khizar⁷

Ipr

[M.A.khizar⁷ @nasaredberry]

Someone said:” we should care less about mental health!! GIRL go insane, you are valid!!”
Damn it!! She took it seriously…
*sh!t’s about to go down*

[M.A.khizar⁷ @nasaredberry]

@stfuucute Wtf 😐😐😐

[M.A.khizar⁷ @nasaredberry]

@stfuucute Fck notifications!!! I thought😑

[M.A.khizar⁷ @nasaredberry]

I’m the kind of person that’s never overpacked, I usually carry the least amount of luggage and I’m never well prepared, I don’t plan anything ahead of time. I’m more of a go with the flow person! However, I am always prepped to go on a hike😶‍🌫️

[M.A.khizar⁷ @nasaredberry]

@khushal39187406 @MizoisLive Bwahahahha 😂

[M.A.khizar⁷ @nasaredberry]

....What's it called when you subtweet yourself?😂

[M.A.khizar⁷ @nasaredberry]

It's a difficult balance of two states I derive different positives from and present their own challenges, and I flow in and out of them at irregular intervals. Sometimes the transition from one to the other is rough and disorienting. Often embarrassing. 11/

[M.A.khizar⁷ @nasaredberry]

I did learn to compensate for this problem. However, it requires near-constant self-vigilence, and when I either get too tired to keep it up or am out of practice due to spending too much time by myself, being seen is suddenly quite scary. 10/

[M.A.khizar⁷ @nasaredberry]

was forgetful and unfocused and had trouble telling the difference between "I imagined in sharp detail that I did this thing" and "I did this thing." If I wasn't careful to consciously label which it was in the moment, non-fantastical daydreams may as well have been memories. 9/

[M.A.khizar⁷ @nasaredberry]

Which...isn't actually *bad,* but I have a lot of trauma around this very thing causing adults to label kid-me as a compulsive liar, rather than someone who, thanks to a combo of nearly photographic imagination… I had yet to cope for, 8/

[M.A.khizar⁷ @nasaredberry]

So I'm thinking oh crap I just said this [needs citation] thing that's missing a lot of internal context only I'm privy to and wind up doing the stressful, embarrassing, but necessary work to check/confirm/clarify/correct myself, and possibly be wrong in front of other people. 7/

[M.A.khizar⁷ @nasaredberry]

Inevitably some unfiltered opinion or statement flies out of my mouth or onto the keyboard, and I realize that while *I* know what I meant, or that there are caveats and exceptions to my words...not everyone might, and not everyone will know *I* know that. 6/

[M.A.khizar⁷ @nasaredberry]

Because, see, I've been spending all this time comforting myself and letting myself relax and be less careful, less presentable, less accurate, indulging in hyperbole and filterless experience, it takes time to return to questioning my conclusions, thinking before I speak. 5/

[M.A.khizar⁷ @nasaredberry]

So when I do, eventually, spend time with friends again/communicate with a group whose attention is fixed on me (so, work, sometimes Twitter or Discord), I find myself horrified, wanting desperately, to escape back into my lonely hole. 4/

[M.A.khizar⁷ @nasaredberry]

This mode of thought is great for learning or creativity, but it's bad for accountability. I find I also find getting chores and other obligations done to be harder and more of an imposition. 3/

[M.A.khizar⁷ @nasaredberry]

fleeting ideas and new information. I fall back into "kid mode," where everything about the world is new and magical and adventurous so I can come up with riveting stories or learn a new skill in a week. 2/

[M.A.khizar⁷ @nasaredberry]

Thinking about: how being alone for long periods of time eventually leads to me feeling lonely and isolated. To help alleviate that, I engage with my curiosity/imagination and, to make such engagement easier, I relax my skepticism just a bit. I make myself more open to 1/

[M.A.khizar⁷ @nasaredberry]

People often are not who they appear to be. For those of us who perceive people at face value, not questioning their alterior motives - it is disturbing. Imo his recent daily reports on "passive suicidal ideation" were dangerous to others. PSI is not normal; Please seek help ASAP

[M.A.khizar⁷ @nasaredberry]

Don't worry about getting back to God, while you may have been ignoring him, HE NEVER LEFT YOUR SIDE :) He is very patient, and "will never let you go". Sounds like a song, huh? As for not talking to him + praying, he has a direct line to your heart. He knows + still loves you✨

[M.A.khizar⁷ @nasaredberry]

Don't worry Allah(swt) still loves you, if he didn't love you the way you were, he wouldn't have created you that way and said in the Quran " we have certainly created mankind in the best form " and look at it like this..
Allah will reward you for wanting to pray when you can't✨