Nash Weiss

Farmer. Substitute teacher. Journalist. Many parts of my life converge here.

[Nash Weiss @NashWeiss]

Today, a student said I was the Dollar Tree version of Harry Styles. I’m not sure if it was a dig or backhanded compliment.

[Nash Weiss @NashWeiss]

Posting photos of yourself isn’t content creation. I said what I said.

[Midwest vs. The Rest @midwestern_ope]

We live in a special part of the world where you put mayonnaise on vegetables and call it a salad

[Nash Weiss @NashWeiss]

Kindergarten creations coming to a fridge near you:

[G. Allan Taylor @GAllanTaylor]

Loved this quote from the Wall Street Journal on residents debating Northwestern's new $800M stadium. #BigTenManners

[Nash Weiss @NashWeiss]

Level of exhaustion: working on my taxes and trying to find a 1099 for my Roth IRA.

[Nash Weiss @NashWeiss]

Not sure there’s a better job on the farm…

[Nash Weiss @NashWeiss]

Hoping to convince a bunch of high schoolers after spring break that this is indeed a trend so they don’t make fun of me.

[Nash Weiss @NashWeiss]

Calving season is in full swing on the farm:

[Nash Weiss @NashWeiss]

My mother this weekend:

[Alex Cohen @anothercohen]

BREAKING:

Lines out the door at Kohl’s stores as panicked shoppers move quickly to redeem billions in Kohl’s cash.

Joe, 70, a lifelong Kohl’s shopper told me, “it’s like nothing I’ve ever seen before. I thought this was the only stable currency left that was safe.”

[Nash Weiss @NashWeiss]

This will likely be overshadowed by #SOTU tweets, but I just have to say I’m enjoying the Wisconsin heatwave because I can run outside without the snot in my nostrils freezing.

[Midwest vs. The Rest @midwestern_ope]

Speak midwestern

No Yeah = Yes

Yeah no = No

Yeah no for sure = Definitely

Yeah no yeah = I’m sorry unfortunately, the answer is yes

No yeah no = oh yeah nothing to worry about

Welp: exclamation before it’s time to go or “I guess that’s how it goes”

Ope: shorthand apology

[Nash Weiss @NashWeiss]

Debating selling my worldly possessions, holing up in an off-the-grid cabin and writing poetry about the woes of the world that will soon become distant as sustain myself with spring water, venison and woodland berries.

[Nash Weiss @NashWeiss]

For 2022 I’m going to lower my expectations of other humans.

[Nash Weiss @NashWeiss]

I packed a pumpkin swaddled in two parkas among ski boots in a checked bag. This will either end well or turn out to be another bad idea in a lifetime of bad ideas.

[Nash Weiss @NashWeiss]

The judgement in the teller’s voice when I tell her how much I need to put in my checking account to pay my Amex bill is just an added bonus. (Apparently they need to ask the reason for transfers beyond a certain amount now.)

[Nash Weiss @NashWeiss]

I’ve resorted to calling the bank every time I need to transfer money because I keep forgetting the password to my online banking account and am sick of coming up with a new password that I’ll inevitably forget.

[Nash Weiss @NashWeiss]

I just had to Urban Dictionary “yassification” and I still don’t understand it.

[Nash Weiss @NashWeiss]

@edieocre The best.

[Nash Weiss @NashWeiss]

@BrendanRascius I respectfully disagree. Jowls makes me think of when we raised hogs on the farm.