I tried getting my mom to do the stairmaster with me at the gym tn and she really replied with “I wouldn’t be able to last more than 3 minutes” - perfect opportunity for “that’s what he said” and I did not miss it
Pray for my dad y’all .. he’s fine, he’s just big time hurt .. he shut off the TV rn and whispered in such a sad tone “the Mets suck” He’s in Spain without the s 🥲😂
To the little teenage assholes that we’re making fun of my nephew who was excited about his new toy at six flags last night .. y’all so lucky I’m all the way saved and respectfully thought twice about hitting you all ☺️😇🤪
*Me casually walking to the bathroom in Asbury*
*random man jumps in front of me and stares into my soul*
“Damn she sexy as FU*K”
Sir you scared the shit out of me, but thank you 🥲🥲