Orgasm denial can be intense—and the physical and psychological effects can leave you euphoric, focused, and deeply, deliciously submissive for days.
When I met up with Sam Bridle for an extended edging session, we decided to layer in hypnotic suggestion to enhance the experience—to help him hold back more easily, even as the stimulation built. It was like mental chastity… except he stayed aroused the entire time.
I lost count of how many times he whispered “Close!”—but most of the time, he didn’t need to say it. I could read it in his body: the clenching, the twitching, the way his balls jumped. That’s when I pulled back.
But he wasn’t really in danger of losing control. Not this time. We used the mantra “The tighter the ropes, the better the boy” to reinforce the suggestion—and oh, he was the best boy.
A teaser clip is up on my site and JFF today (hypnosis isn’t OF-friendly), with rope tying and part of the induction as voice-over. The full 30-minute video drops next Friday.
https://t.co/Eqmvfm1rQJ
@DartsDomain It's a dichotomy at play, Sir. I love the fantasy Dom that can handle what I'm projecting onto them, but when that Dom shows me their vulnerabilities, my service level automatically goes deeper. It's hotter to see the whole person I'm submitting to, not just the fantasy!
The most obvious indicator of whether someone is actually submissive or just using the kinky-but-incorrect label when it suits them, is their focus in bed.
Submission has nothing to do with who is on top and who is on bottom.
Instead, submissive people get turned on by their own success in pleasing their partner.
"But, shouldn't both partners want to please each other in bed?"
Yes, and, this is the key. Vanilla relationships are defined by a "you scratch my back I'll scratch yours" sort of equality in all things, including in bed, while D/s recognizes that a submissive gets turned on by pleasing their dominant, and a dominant gets turned on by their submissive wanting to please them, and using them for their own pleasure.
To the uninitiated it may look like an unfair and one-sided use of one person by another for their own gain, and it is; except in D/s they both get off on it.
The key to keeping it healthy, then, is for the dominant who receives all that lovely pleasure to make sure the submissive person also gets their needs met, by giving them the recognition for a job well done, by giving them opportunities to get what their body needs too, by acknowledging and encouraging their arousal and release through submission, and by giving their ego the validation it needs to know they're appreciated for their efforts.