i don’t think this is a fair comparison, as it compares two entirely different audiences, and therefore doesn’t actually reveal any double standards. queer people interact with fandom in a different way than straight people do, that’s just how it is.
For example, when it's a straight show about a guy loving a girl strongly and only loves her, nobody would say "he would loves her whatever his gender is ! He's just [girlname]sexual!"
if queer ships have a predominantly queer audience and straight ships have a predominantly straight audience, obviously the way these ships are spoken about by their respective fandoms will be different? these are separate groups of people?