Sous Vide Weed Butter

Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day.

[Sous Vide Weed Butter @needsmascoffee]

This is me, making my hero lightly chuckle on the internet at midnight on a weekday. Y'know, just normal life shit. https://t.co/y7jQyxAECz

[Patton Oswalt @pattonoswalt]

Oh God that is HORRIFICALLY apt. Dude.

Dude. https://t.co/HnZZ5sSzo7

[Sous Vide Weed Butter @needsmascoffee]

@slayerisgood Oh you’re Globally Nova, alright

[Bisexual ShadowTHEY @_Draitto_]

Democrat: IF ABRAHAM LINCOLN WAS ALIVE TODAY HE WOULD BE WOKE!!!

Conservative: NO HE WOULD NOT BE WOKE!!!

Abraham Lincoln if he was alive today: FUCKKKKKKKK I HATE IMAGINE DRAGONS

[Sous Vide Weed Butter @needsmascoffee]

@bread_flanderz @slayerisgood Says more about the Bums than us

[Sous Vide Weed Butter @needsmascoffee]

@slayerisgood It’s cause God made dirt to hurt you

[jake rhodes @jakebrodes]

thoughts and prayers are with the young men who got Jocko Willink’d into joining the military via a guerrilla marketing recruitment campaign bc enlistment has been in the shitter for 30 years. You are getting airdropped into a 6000 year old mountain fortress filled w Mothafuckas

[Sous Vide Weed Butter @needsmascoffee]

@slayerisgood The people complaining about this clearly don’t understand that God Made Dirt To Hurt You

[Dee Phunk @DeePhunk]

If there was ever a doubt where Alysa Liu is from...

[The Ten Thousand Man @slime_machine]

censor me more and see what fucking happens

[horse dentist @equine__dentist]

things are happening all the time on x the everything app

[Sous Vide Weed Butter @needsmascoffee]

@slayerisgood Isaac Brock for me, that man likes his booze

[Sous Vide Weed Butter @needsmascoffee]

@Way2af @diy_tmz @anxiousct Thank you for your service

[t✩ @yourg0ldteeth]

To do list:

-Reel in the years
-Stow away time
-Gather up tears

[Sous Vide Weed Butter @needsmascoffee]

@pattonoswalt Seeing someone I went to high school with get reposted by my favorite comedian is a weird full circle moment. Orion is super funny and talented, get him to open for you!

[gianmarco @GianmarcoSoresi]

I love how comedians have gone from “it’s a big club and you ain’t in it” to “I’ve had the club members on my podcast and they’re actually really nice so everyone should just do what they say” fucking pathetic

[adam @adoomie03]

Nice high beams bro do you wanna see an unregistered firearm

[Sous Vide Weed Butter @needsmascoffee]

Fuck a micro plastic, I eat macro plastics. Don’t invite me over or I’ll munch down your 30 pack of quart delis from Smart & Final.

[andy from 5 to 7 @ChampagneAnyone]

me trying to get the gun out of the cop’s holster

[Sous Vide Weed Butter @needsmascoffee]

Same goes for In N Out.

[Sous Vide Weed Butter @needsmascoffee]

If you can't rattle off your WingStop order with the speed of a Marine responding to their drill instructor, don't fuckin talk to me.