Neeks

Didn't make sense not to live for fun

[suri @suricidal]

speaking of old nba tweets this is still the greatest

[MΛRC VIDΛL @marcvidal]

Absolutamente increíble. Lo que hoy ha hecho Barcelona se recordará mucho tiempo. La Sagrada Familia, Gaudí y los que durante 140 años han creído en ello, lo merecían.

[bart @soxbart]

“It’s filled with popcorn.”

Yeah not falling for that. Literally how they tricked Troy.

[James Parker @panoparker]

I made a very important purchase at the medieval festival

[Mayor Zohran Kwame Mamdani @NYCMayor]

Next stop 34th Street

[Hunter Biden @HunterBiden]

Things most Americans agree on:

Groceries cost too much.

Tariffs suck and make no sense.

Congress and Presidents shouldn’t trade stocks.

The debt is a mess.

The border should be secure, but legal immigration is good.

Endless wars are stupid, especially ones that nobody wants and have never been explained.

Americans are exhausted.

AI is like my new best friend that also might be trying to take my job, my ability to think for myself, and my humanity in the process. Yo like I love you, but WTF, but I still love you.

Diversity is actually awesome! The opposite is boring AF.

Canadians are super fucking cool.

Mexicans are chill.

Putin isn’t a good guy looking out for America’s best interest. Rocky IV and Miracle are great movies.

Good neighbors are a blessing.

Freedom of religion and coexistence without having to blow each other up is probably a good idea.

We all question, are we alone in the universe?

We all fuck up along the way.

Epstein didn’t hang himself.

The Trumps and Epstein were best friends for decades. It’s like Bert trying to tell us Ernie was just an acquaintance in the same social scene on Sesame Street back in the day.

The Cowboys suck. Go Birds!

Things we’re told to fight about:

Me.
Laptop.
Vaccines.
Transgenders in sports.
Pronouns.

That’s the joke.

[Three Year Letterman @3YearLetterman]

He mastered this app in 72 hours in a way I haven’t been able to do in almost 9 years

All you can do is tip your cap

[David Rattigan @davidmrattigan]

buying this and then dying immediately and forcing my descendants to finish building it over the next 100 years

[ERT @ErtDoesArt]

Kratos: “Fear not boy, your mother is finally at peace.”

Meanwhile Faye getting TOD air combo’d in super hell:

[NFL Memes @NFLMemes]

Odell Beckham & JuJu Smith Schuster in the Giants locker room pregame while Jaxson Dart is writing 45/47 on his cleats and Cam Skatebo is in the corner eating a seat cushion

[Seth @sethsfilmreview]

Messi 2011/12

[𐌁𐌉Ᏽ 𐌕𐌉𐌌𐌉 @OrevaZSN]

Having an unemployed friend to text during work is so important. They’re like the window in your prison cell.

[jainormis @jainormis]

saying “dat bih gah” after every sip of a diet coke

[Shea Serrano @SheaSerrano]

spurs up by six with the ball and less the five seconds to go lol this was the most FUCK YOU GUYS dunk i’ve seen in a game in a looooong time 😂😂😂😂😂

[Jared Shult @jared_shult]

TALARICO VS MAMDANI. WOKE IS BACK

[💟Ole IS Right, Esq. @Ole_is_right]

I find it deeply offensive when people compare Arsenal to terrorists.

Terrorists actually attack.

[✞ 🇵🇹 @CFCRaf2]

Life as a hatewatcher

[Fiona Small @FionaSmall]

Me when anyone asks why I still use Twitter

[Geechi @ThatDakari]

Bobby Valentino