I’m so embarrassed by all the pathetic and desperate shit I’ve done in an attempt to feel loved, and I’m more embarrassed that nothing has ever worked.
would sell my soul to obtain the following
- non existent waist
- perfect thigh gap
- 3 inches added to height
- never being upset on the scale again
- forever being goal bmi
how it feels having the deep seated belief that you're inherently unlovable and insufferable so every friendship you make is just a matter of time until they get tired of you and leave
i always wonder if my asks are too much– am i too much as a person? is this desire reasonable? if it isn’t meant to be why must i want it so bad? is it greedy to want to be understood? is it selfish to want to be prioritized? are these needs or wants & am i asking for too much?