Neil Mortimer

505

[Neil Mortimer @neilmortimer]

Imagine if you could order pigs in blankets on delivery with KFC gravy

[Kym 🐅 💙 @CrabbyTiger777]

Spotted in an IKEA in France...

[Neil Mortimer @neilmortimer]

Old people love beige fits

[Neil Mortimer @neilmortimer]

@MadPies Pie like you, a lot.

[Neil Mortimer @neilmortimer]

@JAMcCallum dno. mum bought a new coffee themed picture (yes, weird) that has 'expresso' written on it... I feel the x should be banned

[Neil Mortimer @neilmortimer]

No X in 'espresso'

[Neil Mortimer @neilmortimer]

@JAMcCallum Genuinely believable

[Neil Mortimer @neilmortimer]

@ajaxdailydotcom we need more guys like onananana

[Neil Mortimer @neilmortimer]

@McGuireNiall It's Steve Jobs' brain

[Neil Mortimer @neilmortimer]

@McGuireNiall man just has 90% of my storage taken up by the rather rogue 'other'

[Neil Mortimer @neilmortimer]

Watching a programme on teeth whitening... life's exciting again

[Neil Mortimer @neilmortimer]

@JAMcCallum Big up mystical universe fairies

[Neil Mortimer @neilmortimer]

Back on twitter. Hi tweeps

[Neil Mortimer @neilmortimer]

@JAMcCallum Hilariously one day later tweet completely falsifies this....

[Liam Gallagher @liamgallagher]

Mans not hot... the ting goes pa pa pa as you were LG x

[Quintin Schevernels @Quintin24]

Bizar beeld #Nouri #keepfighting

[Dr. Tony Xia @Dr_TonyXia]

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻📞Welcome JT to Birmingham city...Aston Villa🌈!#UTV! @AVFCOfficial Announcement shortly!

[OptaJohan @OptaJohan]

20y 139d - @AFCAjax starting XI against Willem II is the youngest ever line-up in Eredivisie history. Exam.

[AFC Ajax @AFCAjax]

90+3. YES! FINALE @EUROPALEAGUE! ❌❌❌

#WeAreBack