Nelly Poehlman

Cats. Star Wars. Harry Potter. Politics. Germany. Droll Sitcoms. Sports.

[Alex Cole @acnewsitics]

Trump wants Balogun to play for the US but wants to strip him of his birthright citizenship.

You can't make this stuff up.

[amanda @amandatalks__]

I don’t want to hear a single European talk about their free healthcare until they put air conditioning in their stupid hospitals

[NOBUNAGA🇯🇵🏯_夏樹蒼依 @japan_nobunaga]

Stateside, a gas station. I drank a frozen blue beverage too quickly, and was struck down by a punishment this entire nation knows, and accepts, and has named.

The drink is called a slush. Ice, sweetness, and a blue that does not occur in nature. The day was hot. I was thirsty. I drank like a soldier at a river.

The pain arrived in my skull like a war horn.

Behind the eyes. Above everything. Total. I gripped the roof of my car. I may have made a sound.

"Brain freeze," said the cashier through the door, with no urgency whatsoever.

It has a NAME. The affliction is so common it has a household name, like a cousin.

"Tongue on the roof of your mouth," called a man at the pumps. He did not look over. He prescribed the remedy mid-pump, casually, the way one mentions weather.

I pressed my tongue to the roof of my mouth. The war horn faded. The healer nodded at his pump, finished, and was gone in a Chevrolet.

In my land, punishment follows crime by way of courts and seasons. Here, the sentence is instant. Drink with greed, and the ice strikes the mind directly. No trial. No appeal. Perfectly fair.

And here is what moves me. EVERYONE has felt it. The cashier. The healer. Children. Elders. An entire nation united by the same small lightning, all taught the same cure, all passing it on to strangers at gas stations, free of charge.

You cannot fully distrust a country once you know it shares one pain.

The freeze does not punish thirst. It punishes haste.

I finished the slush slowly, like a scholar. Blue tongue. Clear mind.

Then at the door I forgot everything, drank deeply, and was struck down again.

"Tongue, hon," said the cashier, without looking up.

Discipline is a journey.

[Cynical Publius @CynicalPublius]

Dear People Visiting the U.S. for the World Cup:

Much ado has been made about Freddy from Germany and other visitors from Europe, Asia and elsewhere delighting in quintessential American chain dining establishments such as Buc-ees and Texas Roadhouse.

Please allow me to make ten other American chain dining recommendations:

1. Go to Krispy Kreme and get a dozen Original Glazed donuts when the neon “HOT” sign is turned on in the window.
2. Go to Jersey Mike’s and order a #2 for an authentic Jersey Shore experience (“Tramps like us, baby we were born to run”), or get a #17 for an authentic South Philly experience ("Yo, Adrian!”).
3. Go to Chick-fil-A and get an Original Chicken Sandwich with Waffle Fries and a lemonade. (Don’t go on Sunday, they are closed so everybody can go to Church.)
4. Go to the Cheesecake Factory and order whatever you want, it’s the biggest menu you will ever see anywhere. They have everything. I’m not exaggerating, the menu is SOOO many pages. And get a slice of cheesecake—it’s the most decadent cheesecake imaginable, and all the many flavors are great.
5. Olive Garden. It’s not real Italian food, it’s some Americanized version of quasi-Italian food. Go for the endless breadsticks and salad.
6. Taco Bell. Order the Crunchwrap Supreme. Best at 1 a.m. while drunk. (Don’t drink and drive though—American police frown on that.)
7. Chain burger joints are contentious even here in America. Some are mostly regional: Shake Shack, Smash Burger, In-n-Out Burger, Five Guys (those are all great). Probably the best chain burger you can find everywhere in the USA is Wendy’s. Try the Pretzel Baconator with fries and a Coke.
8. Go to Dairy Queen and order a Blizzard. (It’s a dessert, get whatever flavor strikes your fancy. It’s a lot of calories.)
9. Breakfast? McDonald’s. Yeah I know you probably have McDonald’s back in your home country but there is something about a McDonald’s drive thru off an interstate highway that is quintessentially American. Egg McMuffin, hash browns and a coffee (tell them if you want cream and/or sugar, they will add it for you).
10. Buffalo Wild Wings. All the games will be on the many televisions. Get the bone-in wings with the Original Buffalo Sauce.

I’m pretty sure you’ll get a lot of recommendations from other folks on this post. Thanks for enjoying our country. We love that you love it.

Safe travels,
CP

[wes @wesj_42]

Would it be fucked up to recommend the World War II museum to the German guy if he goes to New Orleans?

[Nelly Poehlman @NellyP15]

@UtdMaI Most Americans are complaining about the WC in the USA as well

[Nelly Poehlman @NellyP15]

@DrNeilStone Never forget when republicans weaponized Ebola in 2014 before the midterm elections to criticize Dems on “border security”

[Stu Cameron @stucam7771]

Americans “gee that’s sweet, the grandma is getting a tax-free tip for delivering food”.

Europeans “why does that old lady have to work for her husband’s healthcare? What the fuck is wrong with that country!”…

[Jamie Bonkiewicz @JamieBonkiewicz]

The tragedy isn’t that Trump is insane.
The tragedy is that everyone around him is too fucking cowardly to stop him.

[Angry Staffer @Angry_Staffer]

I keep seeing people ask about the 25th Amendment.

Guys. His entire Cabinet is walking around in shoes that don’t fit because they’re scared to take them off.

The 25th is never happening.

[Nick Tyrone @NicholasTyrone]

The Trump administration having to ask Zelensky for military help is my top 2026 moment so far. The schadenfreude involved here is fabulous.

[Emir Han @RealEmirHan]

James Cameron: "In Star Wars the good guys are the rebels, they're using asymmetric warfare against a highly organized empire, I think we call those guys terrorists today."

George Lucas: "When I did it they were Vietcong. That was the whole point."

[Woke Former Senator @WokeMitt]

Another day, another impeachable offense.

If only we had a Congress.

[Melanie D'Arrigo @DarrigoMelanie]

Updated:

[Acyn @Acyn]

Phillip: Half of those countries that you see on that list—their citizens can't come to the US. We have found those countries to be so unreliable and risky that we won't let their citizens even get a visa but they’re on a board of peace?

[Rodger Sherman @rodger]

NBC ran a piece where Mary Carrillo went to Norway to see why they're so good at the Winter Olympics & i was yelling BC IT'S COLD THERE

then she went to a little ski jump for kids & was like "it's free, equipment is provided, & they don't emphasize results"
and i was like.
oh!

[The Sporting News @sportingnews]

"That's what I'm f---king talking about!"

Alysa Liu after her free skate performance 😂

[Harry Sisson @harryjsisson]

This is the best news ever

[sharks appear @katharineumm]

One of the gold medal contenders in slalom fucked up and he just took his skiis off and wandered off the slope and went to lie down in the snow

[Charlotte Clymer 🇺🇦 @cmclymer]

Let's be clear: the expectations could not have been higher for Ilia Malinin in one of the toughest sports, and he dared to put it all out there. There should be nothing but respect for him. Shit happens. Good on him for not backing down from the challenge.