“Let me ask my partner” is actually deeply healthy in many scenarios and shows that the person values the input of their significant other. Y’all just don’t want to consider someone else and think being hyper independent and “you don’t own me!!!” Leads to a successful PARTNERship. Yes it’s dumb and can be controlling when it comes things like outfits or something. But if you aren’t ready to genuinely consider someone else’s feelings and input on an activity or event or whatever that realistically will impact you both, you aren’t ready for an adult partnership.