Vanessa Conlan

Executive Head of a 12 month to 18 yrs school, mum to 2 crazy boys, widow, loves 📖, loud 🎵 and getting out and about 🏕 with the boys

[Vanessa Conlan @nessiethehead]

@HandbookWidows I chuckled to myself when I saw widows brain is real. Not because it’s funny but because I relate to it so much. I feel my brain capacity has shrunk since losing my husband and can only assume it’s because grief takes up such a large chunk of it.

[Vanessa Conlan @nessiethehead]

@DeputyGrocott 👍

[Vanessa Conlan @nessiethehead]

@HouDatGirl Sending love and strength x

[Vanessa Conlan @nessiethehead]

@Englishman1974 Sending strength. 2nd NY for us. Hard not to feel more lonely than usual at this time of year. Trying to think of the things I’m grateful for, not angry about and to stay positive for our children

[Vanessa Conlan @nessiethehead]

@maxine_shaw10 @75ThunderRoad I have wondered the same. We are due an ISI inspection. I feel no less sense of accountability. I expect no less rigour during the inspection - it is an important job, we should be held to account - but, the removal of gradings does make it feel more like a supportive partnership

[Academy of Grief @AcademyofGrief]

It can be difficult

[Vanessa Conlan @nessiethehead]

What a phenomenally bitter sweet day. This is my baby bro who got married today, bringing me to look at my own wedding ring and reflect on life with/without cancer. Seeing my new SIL's mum, the reason for the brought forward wedding, also hit home hard #grief #diedtooyoung

[Vanessa Conlan @nessiethehead]

I played rugby for 20 yrs and quite possibly only had 1 gum shield in that time (not saying that is actually a good thing). In 6 weeks, I’m up to a total of 5 with the boys so far. ‘What have you done with your gum shield?’ is now the most frequent said sentence in my house!

[Vanessa Conlan @nessiethehead]

16 months later, my husband is still at the crematorium. I do not know how to say my final goodbye.

[Vanessa Conlan @nessiethehead]

@thegriefdiaries @to_widow You’re not the only one. I have a full on job, interacting with people all day, which has become a struggle that it never was before. When I get home, I become a hermit. Struggling to even speak to my parents sometimes

[Vanessa Conlan @nessiethehead]

Oh the irony - dancing to a song with the lyrics guess I'm going (gonna) to die young. He was 48. And then they play dancing is healing! @Rudimental

[Vanessa Conlan @nessiethehead]

@Rudimental what's going on?

[Vanessa Conlan @nessiethehead]

Birthdays and anniversaries are hard, but in thinking I was doing ok, I had completely underestimated the challenge of doing something without him that used to be our thing. Looking forward to @Rudimental 10 yr anniversary of Home today....an album/group we discovered together

[Child Bereavement UK @cbukhelp]

Just 250 signatures are needed to prompt a Government response to the petition to record data on the number of bereaved children in the UK.

Sign today and join us in ensuring #NoChildGrievesAlone.

To sign or share: https://t.co/ZBtSj6farC

@winstonswish @CBNtweets

[Vanessa Conlan @nessiethehead]

@British_Airways Thank you - I managed to just check in at the airport in the end

[Vanessa Conlan @nessiethehead]

@British_Airways I am trying check in online for my flight tonight but can't do it on the web or in the app. I've been getting this message all day. What do I do please?

[Vanessa Conlan @nessiethehead]

@BeccaJonesTeach @CaryGirl1 My husband died a yr ago when my boys were just 6 and 10. My 6 yr old has play therapy which has really helped and I keep an eye on my now 11 yr old as he seems ok but. ... I worked hard to normalise talking about daddy so they'll share if they're sad or worried. Sending love x

[Vanessa Conlan @nessiethehead]

For the first time in almost 18 months, I can feel the 'old me' pushing through. Of course, I'll never really return to the old me but today I feel lighter, I feel genuine happiness, I feel something that isn't dark or heavy or suffocating #widowedyoung #widow #cancersucks

[Vanessa Conlan @nessiethehead]

@CaldonKay @ruby_dood1es My children were 6 and 10 when my husband/their dad died. Being brave and ploughing through got me to 6 months and then I crashed. Big time. Counselling enabled just what you have identified - time to focus on me and what I had lost as a wife and mother. Good luck x

[Vanessa Conlan @nessiethehead]

@ruby_dood1es Yep! I talked to my counsellor about the monotony of daily life and how draining it is when it’s just you. Doing everything. On your own. Every day.