Ted Cruise

my wife IS ugly. Thank you.

[Ted Cruise @neutronwizard]

@NikkiMcR Well, if they have dongs they'll get turkey wraps and decent a decent weight room....#win

[Ted Cruise @neutronwizard]

@brianstelter Dicks always rise up when they need a fluffing.

[Ted Cruise @neutronwizard]

@TheUSASingers You are a cool guy who I would slow bang in my tent at Bonaroo.

[Ted Cruise @neutronwizard]

@TheRickWilson Bud dry...cause he sucks his buddy's wang empty all shiny and chrome.

[Ted Cruise @neutronwizard]

@mitchellbyars Maybe the next amendment should be "white dudes shouldn't have guns."

[Ted Cruise @neutronwizard]

@MichaelZarrabi Send dick pics. She's the one.

[Ted Cruise @neutronwizard]

@TeaPainUSA Ike Turner seeks copyright infringement.

[Ted Cruise @neutronwizard]

@sbg1 I'm thinking of Mike Pence and Mike Pompeo, too. I'm wondering how I can get my slick crisco dong between those two wiggle pigs! Damn. Ham bang a go-go! Think pink stink with the pink wink. Hootie hoo!

[Ted Cruise @neutronwizard]

@kathrynw5 Samoans. Fixed it. Damn I love those chubby warriors.

[Ted Cruise @neutronwizard]

@MollyJongFast It's called Greenland because the frogs there have giant wangs. Ooooh, those croakers got pole patrol on steady thunder. Bitches.

[Ted Cruise @neutronwizard]

@JoshuaHedley He goofs the flute and hammers down would-be Infidels with his zaptar nebulizer.

[Ted Cruise @neutronwizard]

@UMVin808 @Redpainter1 Chair!

[Ted Cruise @neutronwizard]

@patriottakes I don't think high school students can count.

[Ted Cruise @neutronwizard]

@ksorbs Stop being Kevin Sorbo.

[Ted Cruise @neutronwizard]

@fran_chambers The man has no chin.

[Ted Cruise @neutronwizard]

@ProjectLincoln Fluffy Pumper

[Ted Cruise @neutronwizard]

@BlueVotr It is in my garage.

[Ted Cruise @neutronwizard]

@JasonIsbell That's a good idea, she said.

[Ted Cruise @neutronwizard]

@jefftimmer How bout Donald Trump getting boss on my bung bin? Like, just get in there. Knuckle to the buckle, ass-pilgrim.