ITS a ME!

….Welp

[Yeah Yeah! @YeahYeahOkBro]

I DO NOT NEED TWO FACTOR AUTHENTICATION TO PAY MY ELECTRICITY BILL. LET ANYONE IN THAT MOTHERFUCKER IF THEY WANT TO PAY IT

[ITS a ME! @NeverAFave]

@simplyseattle Norm Johnson

[ITS a ME! @NeverAFave]

@simplyseattle Paul Rodriguez

[Gideon Rachman @gideonrachman]

Normally a company that said that its product had a 10% plus chance of exterminating humanity would be shut down immediately. Just saying.

[Jesse Lonis @JesseLonis]

There are 25 people left in event #2 @tritonpoker. The winner will receive $771,000. Im back here again! If I win, I'll give $1,000 to one person who reposts and likes this tweet. Must follow me to win. Watch on YouTube under Triton Poker! 🦍

[AFL-CIO ✊ @AFLCIO]

Weekends.
Workplace safety protections.
Child labor laws.
Retirement security.
Paid time off.

These are things we enjoy today because workers fought for them and won. This Labor Day, let's get inspired and keep fighting for better for working people ✊

[Fuck You I Quit @fuckyouiquit]

And we would just walk into three or four companies, drop off our resume, fill out an application and we’d have a new job in a few weeks

[Simply Seattle | Sports Gear and Hometown Pride @simplyseattle]

Daily Reminder: the reigning champs play in Seattle 👑

[ITS a ME! @NeverAFave]

@TristanCre8ive @GEICO The zip code your car resides may have something to do with that

[Adam Ray @adamraycomedy]

This was great🤣🤣🤣
@tarastrong

[꩜ @adorewordss]

i can't believe its april already, time flies when you're anxious everyday of your life

[Danny Vietti @DannyVietti]

Walking down the first base line while challenging a pitch call is the new bat flip.

[NR_Garrett @NR_Garrett]

You don't even need to provide ANY context and 99% of people know what you mean

[ITS a ME! @NeverAFave]

It’s anxiety. Grab yourself some too!

[Sophia ❣️ @KeruboSk]

Apparently there are people who wake up before their alarm… and just get up.

Just one alarm. No snooze. No struggle.

Explain yourselves. How do you do that?

[Thrilla the Gorilla @ThrillaRilla369]

@Cigaro556 If the government was a joint 💨 🍃

[🇺🇸Stay off my lawn 🇺🇸 @Mrddrag3]

@ThrillaRilla369 @TheDude09106812 Dales has a diagram where to poke holes in their cans.

[໊ @oockreg]

Last night my waiter was cracking jokes, refilling drinks, making peoples kids laugh. Cool as a fan! I went to the bathroom and took a wrong turn near the kitchen. I saw him leaning against the walk in freezer door, eyes closed, looking like he wanted to breakdown, and leave that second. He took one deep breath, slapped a smile back on his face and walked back out onto the floor saying, 'Who needs another refill?' Be nice to service workers. You have no idea what tragedy they are navigating.

[Suki @skickwriter]

Is it just me or are 75% of y’all just stealing old tweets that only the other 25% of us are old enough to remember?

[ITS a ME! @NeverAFave]

If so, can you tell me what the words say that are on the window?

[Trump Girl 🇺🇲🦅🇺🇲 @MAGA__Patriot]

When ideology collides with reality.

A woman who publicly identifies as a dog was attacked by an actual dog. It's a strange moment that raises a bigger question: when society blurs the line between identity and reality, what happens when the real world pushes back?

Reality doesn't care about trends, hashtags, or feelings. The world still runs on truth, biology, and consequences.

Sometimes the most uncomfortable moments expose how far culture has drifted from common sense.

[ITS a ME! @NeverAFave]

Depends… doe my wife know about our finances? Then no.

[FinancialFreedom @FinFreedom414]

Imagine you had to choose your life at age 40:

Option A:
Single. No kids.
$10M net worth.
Travel anywhere. Total freedom.
Quiet house. Quiet holidays.

Option B:
Married. 3 kids.
$1M net worth.
Drive a Toyota. Chaos every morning.
Loud house. Full dinner table.

Be honest, which life are you choosing?