JJ

My experiences of traumatic injury, ICU sedation, fentanyl dreams, chronic pain & the grip of prescription drug abuse. Some songs tell the story others don't.

[JJ @nevermylast]

[Verse 1]
I stayed up late, to get it right,
Put in the work, Night after night.
I'll keep my sanity, you keep the fame.
Somehow I knew it was always a game.

[Pre-chorus]
You can bleed for it, you can break for it,
You can hand them the whole damn light.
But they’ll find a way, to push you out of sight.

[Chorus]
Because no one cares
Not really, not anymore.
They’re too busy shining their ego,
To see you’ve gave everything and more.
If they can’t have the moment
They’d rather watch it fall.
Because no one cares,
No one cares at all.

[Verse 2]
I told the good news quiet,
Didn’t want to sound too proud.
They did their best to smile,
Never caring is just their style.

[Bridge]
It’s not that they’re evil, It’s that they’re empty,
Empty people need the world the same size as them.
So they pick at the seams, Until nothing is left,
Never understanding the cause and effect.

[Final chorus]
Because no one cares,
Not really, not anymore.
If they can’t stand with you
They'll just shut the door.
Because no one cares
No one cares anymore.

https://t.co/xZeOcFisdH

[JJ @nevermylast]

https://t.co/W2HpsUR8Fi

Lyrics:

[Verse 1| spoken]
She's everything I want
She's everything I need.
Turned demons into angels,
Just to watch me bleed.

Every scar she traced with a lover’s touch,
Made the pain feel tender, made it mean so much.
Her beauty was everything I craved,
All I had to do was die to be her slave.

[Pre-Chorus]
Nyctophilia Queen, you've painted hell Velvet Gray,
Made the darkness feel like safety, made it all OK.
Beneath the comfort, I felt the poison spread,
A beautiful trap was closing over my head.

[Chorus]
Mistress of the dark,
Pulled me in, almost tore me apart
I never wanted to leave… but I had to go,
Your comfort was so deadly, it was beautiful.

[Verse 2]
I don't know what will become of this,
I don't want them to know what I've done.
If I had chose her endless embrace,
I'd be safe and wouldn't have to run.

Her voice in my veins like a siren song,
It felt so good, but I know it was wrong.
The princess of dark, the world I dread,
My beautiful sinner, to the bitter end.

[Pre-Chorus]
Nyctophilia Queen, you’ve bound me so tight,
Black rain fell, through the blood-red night.
The comfort was venom, sweet on the tongue,
I had to leave, or never see the sun.

[Final Chorus]
Mistress of the dark,
Pulled me in, almost tore me apart
I never wanted to leave… but I had to go,
Your comfort was so deadly, it was beautiful.

[Outro]

[JJ @nevermylast]

Lyrics:

They said “Time heals,��� as I laughed through the years,
Paid strangers to listen, to help with my fears.
Fought battles no one sees, carried fire no one feels,
Learned every shade of breaking, just to know what’s real.

It’s a horrible privilege, this pain that I own,
Feelin' every bit of it, down to my soul.
It’s a horrible privilege, a weight I can't share,
Taught me who I am, cuz the world didn't care.

I’ve walked through the wreckage, worn the scars like a crown,
Turned poison to purpose when no one was around.
They call it surviving — I call it the cost,
Of knowing the darkness, when hope’s all but lost.

I wouldn’t trade the ruin, wouldn’t wish it away,
‘Cause the man in the mirror earned every gray.
It’s mine — all mine — this beautiful curse.

[short solo]

It’s a horrible privilege, this pain that I own,
Had to rise from the ashes, had to do it alone.
It’s a horrible privilege, the truth in my veins,
Turned hell into wisdom, through years of pain.

[JJ @nevermylast]

The second part of the finale is out now for those that want to check it out... I got sick for about 6 weeks so it took a lot longer than expected to finally release this. https://t.co/1G1j4WsjhQ

[JJ @nevermylast]

And part one of the two part finale... The Rise will be out August 14th, 2026. Here is the pre save link for that https://t.co/cDeikJLnhY
Part 2 of the finale will come out sometime next month as I am still finishing that up.

[JJ @nevermylast]

Finally some news... I did get the Heavy Metal/Hard Rock instrumentals all put together and uploaded to Youtube in case anybody wanted to just have them play in the background while you do something else... https://t.co/MZjaHNe8mf

[JJ @nevermylast]

Today is the day...available pretty much everywhere! Stream it, download it, enjoy it! https://t.co/FEdOjpqJT3

[JJ @nevermylast]

It's finally happening remixed and remastered, with a bit of help this time to make the best possible music I can for everyone to enjoy. I will not be remixing or remastering the second release as I feel that should be left raw, angry, and confusing to reflect that moment in my recovery. Here is the pre save promo link for Apple Music, Spotify, and Amazon Music. https://t.co/KUvOJFY7Bm Lands everywhere on July 10th, 2026.

[JJ @nevermylast]

What the Conflict is about. https://t.co/xZkbsQQ48K

[JJ @nevermylast]

Just a little update on what has been going on. Yes there is actually someone behind the music.

[JJ @nevermylast]

Out today Volume 2 of my journey of recovery from spinal cord injury and prescription drug abuse. Trying to capture 7 years of experiences with 12 songs is kind of difficult but hopefully I did an OK job with it. Many songs are about the anger that comes with a catastrophic injury, a brief but memorable road descending into the dark flirting with suicide and somehow coming out on the other side knowing I was gonna be alright.

I don't suggest fighting these demons alone but I had to fight them alone because there wasn't a soul around willing to help. Friends didn't know what to do and family just didn't seem to give a shit enough to lift a finger to help. A lot of my bitterness today comes from the fact that asking for help isn't a sign of weakness it means I really could use some help but when people are constantly never there when you need them the most that means I'm not going to make you a part of anything else in the future.

I'm going to release some more information about what the songs mean in the next coming weeks.

https://t.co/XG8MVSk8va

[JJ @nevermylast]

A little taste of the upcoming release on May 4th. Vol 2 covers the years of anger, romancing suicide, the dark times, to realizing you'll be alright. The Conflict of change to acceptance is sometimes ugly, but a necessary step. #newmusic #independentartist #trauma #recovery

[JJ @nevermylast]

I'm going to throw out the pre save link for anyone who is interested. It will take you to a page that will have Apple Music, Spotify, or Amazon Music links so you can be notified when it comes out on May 4th. Don't worry I will post the link again. Thank you to everyone who has streamed or downloaded the songs so far... we are almost halfway through. Not sure where any of this is going but it sure is an an interesting journey.
https://t.co/XG8MVSk8va

[JJ @nevermylast]

Abandoned comes out on April 24th, it is about me abandoning all hope that anyone was going to help me out of the situation I put myself in. I reached out for help and there was no one there... So I did it myself because the alternative was an early grave. https://t.co/mqIslDdA23

[JJ @nevermylast]

Poison comes out in a few days, on your favorite music app https://t.co/NU49dBG7Pe About my prescription drug abuse.

[JJ @nevermylast]

Lies is out now! https://t.co/vMZtKJNMjp

[JJ @nevermylast]

So in the midst of all this writing music I have some stuff that I'm not gonna put any lyrics to, so I am going to release those as instrumentals, and here is the first one of many.
https://t.co/ji6Ght4yi5