I thought about it as a way out, a way to give myself peace, if there’s any for a deadman because honestly none of us truly know what is beyond life, but yes I thought about it in search of comfort, I thought about it as a way to no longer be.
Today for the first time ever, I’ve thought about ending my life.
Not the usual surface level thoughts of what life would be like for the people I love without me in it, but more deeply, more selfishly.