No More Low Self Esteem

I help men struggling with severe low self-esteem cultivate high self-esteem, so that they can confidently thrive personally and professionally within 8 weeks

[No More Low Self Esteem @newhabitsconsul]

If you would like to see how to apply this to your situation so you can stop seeking validation, I have a free guide for you. DM or reply to this thread with the word "WORTH" to get access.

[No More Low Self Esteem @newhabitsconsul]

The way to fix this is to first fix the reason why you have a belief system that says you are not important.

By fixing that, the other things automatically fall in line: you start to see yourself as important.

[No More Low Self Esteem @newhabitsconsul]

How I fixed it was to use four steps that facilitated one change: replacing my negative belief system of not seeing myself as important with a positive new one.

Step 1: Discover the negative belief

Step 2: Replace it

Step 3: Reinforce it

Step 4: Optimize environment

[No More Low Self Esteem @newhabitsconsul]

The truth is simple but uncomfortable: people will judge you regardless.

No amount of people-pleasing will make you universally accepted.

Trying to impress everyone costs you the one relationship that matters most—your relationship with yourself.

[No More Low Self Esteem @newhabitsconsul]

After a while, it might lead to social isolation, where you either physically or socially remove yourself from the world.

And that is dangerous because that's when the depression sets in.

You’ll never reach your full self by appeasing others.

[No More Low Self Esteem @newhabitsconsul]

You do all this just to ensure that they are emotionally accepting of you.

But this constant state of always seeking validation from others is tiring and affecting you seriously.

[No More Low Self Esteem @newhabitsconsul]

So what you subconsciously do is try to get your value from outside sources because your inner sources have already decided you have none.

This leads to validation-seeking behaviors like always being on call for everyone, freely giving away money, resources, and time.

[No More Low Self Esteem @newhabitsconsul]

Having a negative belief system that says you're not important and, as such, are a bother or a burden to others means that you have no self-worth, no value.

But humans cannot exist in a state of no value.

[No More Low Self Esteem @newhabitsconsul]

Why?

The reason why you have validation-seeking activities like constantly giving away money or never saying no to favors is that you see yourself as not important.

[No More Low Self Esteem @newhabitsconsul]

I was doing this thinking that it would strengthen my friendship or relationship with that person.

Like me, you may be rationalizing it as you being a good person by doing this, but it is not.

You are actually allowing yourself to be taken advantage of

[No More Low Self Esteem @newhabitsconsul]

In my case, I used to be a bank to others, lending people money in order to get them to like me.

I was always saying yes to any favor asked of me.

No matter how much I didn't want to do it, or how much it inconvenienced me and stopped me from getting my own stuff done.

[No More Low Self Esteem @newhabitsconsul]

Both of these actions are validation-seeking actions.

They are a negative effect of having a negative belief system that makes you see yourself as a burden or a bother to others.

Because you view yourself as a nuisance, you start to go into validation-seeking.

[No More Low Self Esteem @newhabitsconsul]

Do you struggle with this?

Constantly giving away money to others, no matter how many times they ask, you never say no?

Or you can't say no to others, whether a partner, friend, or parent, always altering your own plans to do whatever favors they ask of you?

[No More Low Self Esteem @newhabitsconsul]

You view asking for help as an inconvenience, so you choose to stay stuck while you are dying inside and desperate to leave.

The only way to stop this unnecessary suffering is to fix your inner foundation and replace that negative belief system with a positive new one.

[No More Low Self Esteem @newhabitsconsul]

The negative effects of seeing yourself as a burden as a man:

Financial and career stagnation.

Having a negative belief system that causes you to see yourself as a bother to others is devastating. It completely derails your progression.

[No More Low Self Esteem @newhabitsconsul]

My mind told me: if I couldn't do it on my own, I was weak.

And as a man in today's society, that's the worst thing to be seen as.

You might be doing this right now—toughing out a bad career because asking around for job leads or a career change feels like inconveniencing others with your weakness.