neypatz

master of puns. teeth enthusiast. harry potter fan. nap queen.

[neypatz @neyshkabob]

when you focus all your energy on rebuilding and taking chances, you'll find happiness in places you'd least expect it

[neypatz @neyshkabob]

I'm telling my patients "see ya next year" bc 6 months from now is 2024 #rip

[neypatz @neyshkabob]

why are there back to school ads already, didn't summer just start 😭

[neypatz @neyshkabob]

my toxic trait is scrolling through old pictures of me with "night changes" playing in the background like who am I to be nostalgic at my past self

[neypatz @neyshkabob]

What a high scoring game but happy Mahomes got another win 🙌🏽

[neypatz @neyshkabob]

RIHANNA IS A GODDESS

[neypatz @neyshkabob]

Wow that World Cup game was the most heart wrenching thing I've ever seen - ARGENTINA and Messi deserved this WIN 🇦🇷🇦🇷🇦🇷

[trash jones @jzux]

oh you’re running a marathon? that’s cool i’m running out of money

[neypatz @neyshkabob]

Another year and another tweet to tell everyone that this is NOT daylight savings but the END of daylight savings time so what you guys actually want is daylight savings time and you don't want it to end, thanks for coming to my Ted Talk

[neypatz @neyshkabob]

RIP Robbie Coltrane. You were the only one who could be Hagrid. "There's No Hogwarts without you Hagrid"

[Cora Harrington @CoraCHarrington]

The “outside clothes” to “inside clothes” to “dust rags” sustainable fashion pipeline

[neypatz @neyshkabob]

there are so many tutorials of how to put your hair in fun braids and buns and high ponys with all kinds of hair twisting but where are the videos on how to get it all out?! sos

[neypatz @neyshkabob]

can the people who made "knives out" please make a modern remake of "the westing game"

[neypatz @neyshkabob]

RIP choco tacos - the end of an era. gonna cry myself to sleep tonight

[The Mighty Quinn 🇹🇹 @misterj006]

So if a woman is raped at gunpoint and becomes pregnant, the gun is the most protected party in that situation.

[neypatz @neyshkabob]

i love my birthday but i don't want to get older sigh, the years really start coming and they don't stop coming :(

[neypatz @neyshkabob]

in other news, the bartender at the bar thought I was too young to be a doctor and the lady at the nail salon asked me if I was in high school

[neypatz @neyshkabob]

some girl on our plane (mind you it was 1.5 hours delayed) starts asking for pictures in the cockpit with the pilots and flight attendants like WE DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR YOUR INFLUENCER BLOG GEN Z LIFESTYLE, I'm just tryna go on vacation ma'am