zeezee👸

I am just................tired I solemnly swear that I am up to no good /

[flintstone @3anj1_]

One movie in. See where it takes you. introducing https://t.co/sA9D5qRvPm.

[Big Mama!💋🐆 @orente_themuse]

I’m going to be honest with you guys. i want to crowd fund, but not for cancer or anything. i just need money for ice cream and boba
opay
9016901059
thanks

[Mary Munyoki @mcubedto]

That is nothing, during covid UK was having a meeting online. Malawi insisted to go physically. They were allowed 6 people. The six people were the president, his wife, daughters and son-inlaws.

[Arike Sugar Sugar❤️✨ @yettydlaw_]

If you have experienced unusual, unexplained or excessive depletion of your MTN data, PLEASE fill this form https://t.co/kI0NOyRhOu

This is bigger than one subscriber.

We are currently collating first-hand accounts and supporting evidence from affected MTN subscribers.

[Tunde Ososanya @TundeOsosanya]

I’ve always heard about it but never experienced it. Exactly 8:15 on Osborne Road, Lagos, some robbers attacked a car in traffic, breaking its glass as they tried to steal one of the passengers’ phone.
They operated without fear that they could be challenged.
Cc: @LagosPoliceNG

[Jiji🧍🏽‍♀️ @em0jiiii_]

uhm if you live in yaba or know someone who lives in yaba (akoka, yaba tech and abule oja to be precise), they are starting their oro festival today till the 16th of august.

for some reason, not a lot of people are aware (i literally just found out).

after 10pm, stay inside o!

[juan crow @twinkletweetu]

sometimes when you stumble through the valley of the shadow of death you temporarily find refuge in an ugly man. But you’re supposed to leave him there

[Chief John Oladapo @0esq0]

It's still doing me like a film trick. The land’s value is 40m Naira, and I'm being offered N20k to draft the deed. I don't even know how respond to that WhatsApp message it's from an older person I respect.

I wouldn't take offence if I was begged to do it for free honestly.

[weather @dsxf234161]

it took her 9 months to make a joke

[Mitchelle Karoro @KaroroMitchelle]

Do y'all also have a family member who buys their kid their own takeaways whilst knowing that there's also another kid in the house ?
My aunt is like that whenever she orders or decides to buy her 4 year old daughter a KFC or McDonald's meal she'll only buy for her daughter while she knows my son also is around when she does that I just take my son and go for a walk and come back after a while that's annoys me so much because she knows I'm not working, I've been job hunting with no luck . Today she came back with KFC for herself and her daughter, I just called my son to the room and you know how kids are , he started crying that he also wants it , I told him I'll buy it tomorrow , she said to her daughter" just give him a little piece ..." I said no it's fine he just finished eating" because she did it on purpose.

[Lydia 🌼 @lydiaonxx]

Someone made a video dragging Mercy Johnson for selling pads for 25k.

I saw it and I was like MJ can’t be that insensitive… let me actually go and look at what she’s selling before I form an opinion.

What I found: it’s not “pads for 25k.” It’s a full period care package.

- Panty liners pack (15 pieces).
- Pads in three flow sizes — light, medium, heavy.
- Multiple pieces in each pack.
- Period panties (2).
- Disposal bags.
- Flushable wipes
- A little story book that talks to girls about puberty.

If you price those things out individually at a supermarket from the period panties alone, the three different pad sizes, the liners, it starts to add up.

Is 25k steep? Maybe. But it’s not as insane.

She’s not selling you two pads in a pack as someone made it sound.

The issue is that somebody described it wrong online, people ran with it, and nobody paused to verify before they started shouting “insensitive.”

This is a curated period kit for a girl who’s just starting her cycle.
Everything she needs in one box. That’s the product. That’s what you’re paying for.

Please can we start doing 10 seconds of research before we drag people.

See images from the site here

[STUNNER @Cr7Godbrand]

Have you been to an IVF clinic?

It cost me $18,000 to do IVF for my wife at age 34. Out of the three eggs that were inserted, only one worked. We were lucky becuse she was born with a lot of eggs and they had plenty to remove and fertilize.

I can’t count how many hundreds of women were in that clinic going through IVF, all there with their husbands. That place was always packed with women. Women in their late 20s and 30s. Some even flew from another state cause it’s cheaper there.

In fact, my wife’s friend already had two kids and was trying IVF for a girl at 33, but her eggs were of poor quality and none of them worked. The reality is that women don’t always talk about what they go through to get pregnant. People just see a 35-year-old woman having a baby and assume it happened naturally.

When it was my turn in the process, all they needed from me was to ejaculate, and I wasn’t needed again after that. Meanwhile, the women had to take an entire box of medication. And even then, some attempts still failed.

You can’t compare the two processes. If a man has low sperm quality, in many cases it can improve with lifestyle changes. But if a woman has poor egg quality, it is far more complex, expensive, and difficult to treat. It’s basic biology: men produce millions of sperm continuously, while women are born with all their eggs and lose them over time.

This is why even an 80-year-old man, like Al Pacino, can still father a child. That’s just biology.

[🐬 @triplexdshott]

nysc camp is very therapeutic… you won't even know there's problem in the country.
just be doing parade and falling in love till you finish camp and they say transport back to ibadan is 40k.

[Wolfie 🐺 @TheIgboWolf]

I rarely taste my food while cooking, I cook entirely on confidence and vibes so the finished product is always a surprise to me as much as it is to you.

If you eat my food and something is wrong, please know that I am also a victim and we are in this together.

[Simon Thazhigilla Simon🇳🇬 @Thazhigilla_]

Many people might not believe this but...
In 2023, I was packed into a police Danfo during a random raid in Jos, Plateau state. I was trekking for an all night session in school. They drove us to the station, seized our phones, and told everyone to sit on the bare floor behind the counter. The IPO in his faded uniform brought out rumpled sheets of paper and shouted ''Criminals remove your shoes make una write una statement for here''

I tried to look at the guys beside me who were sweating and writing things like "I am just walking and police catch me abeg I am a student." Another guy with a torn shirt was writing, "I swear to God I am not a cultist, I only went to buy indomie and egg, my mother is a widow." One particular guy was literally dropping tears on his paper, writing, "I don't smoke loud, I have CHM 101 test tomorrow morning, please have mercy in Jesus name."

I knew my family did not have 50k for any emergency bail. So I sat on that cold floor, balanced the paper on my knee, and activated the ''Femi Falana'' in me (small HOW TO GET AWAY WITH MUDER was giving me confidence).
I did not write a plea o. I wrote a chronological, legally terrifying timeline of my abduction. I used phrases like "unlawful detainment," "absence of probable cause," and "infringement of fundamental liberties." I made sure my handwriting was looking like a typed font🤲🏾

Thirty minutes later, the DPO walked in to inspect the night's harvest. He was biting the edge of a pure water sachet when he started reading the statements one by one, tossing them aside. Then he picked up my paper. He read the first paragraph, stopped, and looked at the crowd on the floor. He read it again.

I was already preparing my mind for Cell One, the one with Mosquitoes that trained in Afghanistan. I was entirely convinced my grammar had angered him.

The DPO looked at the IPO and said, "Who write this thing?" The IPO pointed at me. The DPO told me to stand up and follow him to his office. At that point, I wished I wrote my statement in Hausa😭

I entered the room, sweating like cold water. He sat down, dropped the paper on his desk, and said, "So, you sabi write English like this and you dey waka late night?"

He opened his drawer and brought out a massive stack of dirty files. He complained that the station's secretary had been sick for three days and they had a massive backlog of official reports to send to the Area Commander.

I did not enter the cell that night. I sat in a perfectly air-conditioned office from 11 PM to 4 AM, actively ghostwriting police reports, restructuring suspect confessions, and formatting legal petitions for the Nigerian Police Force. By 5 AM, the DPO gave me 15k cash for a job well done, bought me a plate of white rice, and ordered the patrol van to drive me safely to my hostel with full escorts.

If you are currently smiling at this beautiful grass-to-grace story, I want you to know that you just read several heavy paragraphs of pure, undiluted fiction. I have never been arrested in my life. I am currently on my bed eating bread and egg. But like the original tweet said, proper articulation solves 75% of your problems. The remaining 25% is knowing how to lie fluently to farm engagement on this app. Happy Sunday.

[bandito💜 | comfort food @ogheneyxle]

this is so striking ngl. i just remembered that the inventor of the refrigeration machine died in penury, discredited by the “ice king”.

the “ice king” sought to make ice available everywhere because he believed his brother died from a lack of ice to temper his fever— and couldn’t let that be the fate of others.

the invention of ice trade helped spread the culture of cooling, possibly also helping sick people as he intended, but it wasn’t a sustainable solution for the doctor in a small town trying to make his patients feel better.

he did not decide to improve on the ice trade, he threatened its lifeblood. i wonder how many inventions have to contend with the current solution for a situation its meant to fix

[𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐀𝐊𝐔 @puffypearl]

Farted in my car on a check point queue and the police decided to stop me, asked me to wind down and he brought his head inside.

I’m not sure he’s going to recover from what he smelt for a while. Even me I couldn’t even believe what I perceived from myself. My bad

[Cyborg Warlord @Admiral_Cyborg]

For days now, I had refused to comment on the Ozoro R@pe festival.

I did that so I'd get my acts right before commenting.

For decades, the Ozoro Rape festival had been in practice. Some investigations showed how enthusiastic and ready some of these beasts in human form were. They happily awaited the day to come so they could try out their fantasies.

One of the former victims claimed she was raped by her own brother, who later knocked his father out because "she was too succulent and didn't want the father to enjoy what he enjoyed."

In all I could gather, the women moved on. They 'forgave and forgot' because to them, it was a tradition.

They were even advised against having ill feelings so they wouldn't be punished by their ancestors.

One thing I constantly asked was for clarity, if it was limited to just the ill travelled illiterates, but I was shocked to discover that a lot of people leave their jobs, call in sick or use one vice or the other to escape their jobs outside Delta state, just to be present for the festival.

Another boy came forward to spill that those 'big shots' from town, often came home with Police Escorts, who are asked to "enjoy themselves."

There is NO WAY, the police in Delta State would tell the people that they aren't aware of all that's been happening in Ozoro for decades when they provide security to the VIPs who organize this so called festival every year. Everything they said were jargon aimed at deflecting the general public from asking questions.

As usual, we swallowed it and moved on.

[Hansel Praise @hannytalker]

To whom it may concern as copied from Tomiloba Babarinde on LinkedIn.

When an employee's contract is terminated mid-month, your instinct may be to pay only for the days worked (pro rata basis). However, the National Industrial Court has taken a different position.

In Mr. Abe Adewunmi Babalola v. Equinox International Resources Ltd (Unreported Suit No. NICN/LA/166/2015), the Claimant, had his appointment terminated on 7th September 2012. He had worked only 7 days into that month. When he filed his claim, he asked for a pro-rated fraction of his September salary — essentially, payment for those 7 days only.

In its decision, the Court answered this very question, i.e- Was the claimant entitled to a fraction of September salary or the full month?

Relying on its earlier reasoning in Grant Mpanugo v. CAT Construction Nig Ltd & Anor (Unreported Suit No. NICN/LA/660/2015), the Court reaffirmed an important principle:

Pro rata or fractional salary is not applicable to employees in periodic employment who are paid monthly. It applies only to daily paid workers.

The reasoning is practical. A monthly salary is not a daily rate multiplied by the number of days in a particular month. If it were, employees would earn different amounts across the year because the months are uneven. February has 28 or 29 days. March has 31.

If salary were to be calculated strictly by days, monthly pay would fluctuate across the year, which defeats the structure of periodic employment.

The Court therefore held that where an employer terminates employment within a new month, the employer is liable to pay the full salary for that month, not a fraction based on days worked.
Therefore, the claimant was entitled to his full September salary.

In conclusion, the next time you terminate an employee’s employment mid month, resist the instinct to divide the monthly salary by 30 or 31.

[Success.ofsnaps @ThatSuccess_]

I made ogbono soup for my grandparents and served them. Shortly afterwards my
grandfather called that I should come and take meat.. I was shocked and my younger siblings were jealous because its unlikely I get to be called for meat. I got there only for him to give me the chunk of ogbono that didn't dissolve but gummed together...savagery at its best 😭😂💔