Christine Ng

Hi I'm Christine and I'm not doing my homework.

[Christine Ng @ngmachine]

@NPR When did NPR turn into Gossip Girl?

[Christine Ng @ngmachine]

Watching Sydney White reminded me that it's nice to see @SammLevine not playing a sex-obsessed lunatic in Crunch Time

[Christine Ng @ngmachine]

Radio host: This goes out to the people who have never put guac on their burritos at chipotle
*Justin Bieber's "Love Yourself" plays*

[Christine Ng @ngmachine]

Dear lady at Ulta who let your daughter open and test 20 new lipsticks without buying any of them: I hope someone sneezes in all your makeup

[Christine Ng @ngmachine]

Feeling romanced with all these stop lights courting me at every intersection

[Christine Ng @ngmachine]

You know you've watched too much Downton Abbey when you start thinking in a cockney accent

[Christine Ng @ngmachine]

Tfw you faceplant into a puddle after spending all day making sure you dont step in one

[Christine Ng @ngmachine]

"Equality is not doing everything the same but providing what is necessary for equality of outcomes."

[Christine Ng @ngmachine]

@TheRealRyanHiga throwback Monday to "cooking but not really" lasagna edition!

[Christine Ng @ngmachine]

Spent an hour longer getting home from work than I normally do #PokemonGO

[Christine Ng @ngmachine]

Me: What are you building?
Kid I'm babysitting: (contemptuously) Your FACE #datbabysittinglyfe

[Christine Ng @ngmachine]

Me, dogpiled by 3 year olds: "Help, help!"
The tiniest 3 year old girl in the class: "Don't worry, I got you. I'm Superman."

[Christine Ng @ngmachine]

Thanks @ThisIsPVRIS, @awolnation, and @falloutboy for a great concert tonight! #WINTOURISCOMING

[Christine Ng @ngmachine]

CONGRATULATIONS @HamiltonMusical FOR THE GRAMMY WIN!!! #RISEUP

[Christine Ng @ngmachine]

Loved the @HamiltonMusical performance on the Grammys!

[Christine Ng @ngmachine]

RIP Alan Rickman. Us Potterheads will miss you
Alan Rickman, Actor Known for Harry Potter and Die Hard, Dies at 69 https://t.co/Vt0XDPLrQd

[Brooding YA Hero @broodingYAhero]

It's not cheating if my girlfriend is a one-dimensional villain and my new love interest is the main character, right?

[Brooding YA Hero @broodingYAhero]

If both me and my love interest have brown eyes... Haha, yeah, right. No fictional characters fall for someone with the same eye color.

[Christine Ng @ngmachine]

@morganjanuary12 is this you
https://t.co/jV1U2pAbg1 via @vineapp

[Christine Ng @ngmachine]

Apparently "Aluminium" is an actual correct spelling and pronunciation. It's just British. This hurts me inside.