Nick Herbert

Writer. Also Garfield 2: A Tail of Two Kitties expert.

[Nick Herbert @nherbert5]

I think Mozart would enjoyed hearing his music be the soundtrack for Busch Gardens, Williamsburg. He would've loved Dip n' Dots.

[Nick Herbert @nherbert5]

People don't want to use Microsoft Excel. The spirit fights against it. The spirit of every person instead desires to use their hands to construct a vast aqueduct network that supplies water for a system of elaborate terrace farms to feed their mountain village.

[Nick Herbert @nherbert5]

Walking into my bank to withdraw my entire account of $-23.04 as the recession hits

[Nick Herbert @nherbert5]

I keep watching YouTube videos about going out into the forest and building shelters in various types of inclement weather. They have millions of views. I think they partially satisfy a collective longing to return to the forests and not deal with computer job or paying rent.

[Nick Herbert @nherbert5]

I would sacrifice my firstborn child to a volcano before I would bring a single Funko Pop into my home.

[Nick Herbert @nherbert5]

@aussieelise Essentially, yeah. But the only feedback they really take is their bottom line. If 10 okay shows are cheaper and more profitable than 1 really good show, they'll go with that every time.

[Nick Herbert @nherbert5]

@aussieelise And some shows are never even given a chance to find their stride and "get good" since they're canceled if they're not immeidtalry profitable. So there's a ton of just "ok" one season shows out there that end on cliffhangers now, which means no one will watch them.

[Nick Herbert @nherbert5]

@aussieelise At least in my opinion, since every single company wants their own streaming service (and more money) there's been a big push to then create "original" shows to populate all those new streaming sites. This has lead to a massive quantity of new shows with less regard for quality.

[Nick Herbert @nherbert5]

I'm going to try to letterbox more this year because I have many great thoughts on films and such. Follow me if you like. My name on there is Wilbur McMullins for a reason I forget but probably thought was funny three years ago. https://t.co/SdyKC6O2nw

[Nick Herbert @nherbert5]

Avatar 2 would've been so much better if they'd dropped "Broken" by Seether (feat. Amy Lee from Evanescence) over the whale slaughter scene.

[Nick Herbert @nherbert5]

At 11:58pm The Firework is launched. People gather outside, joining arms, to witness Its splendor. At 12:00am The Firework explodes. People bathing in Its glow find that the light warms their hearts. That glow never fades, it remains all year in the souls of those who witnessed.

[Nick Herbert @nherbert5]

Instead of doing tons of annoying little fireworks on New Year's, each city should do one massive singular firework that's launched into the stratosphere in a blaze of glory and explodes with the very light of the sun itself. Then it's over.

[Nick Herbert @nherbert5]

My parents have this Christmas CD that sometimes plays that sounds exactly like Skyrim ambient music

[Nick Herbert @nherbert5]

Trying to find work as a freelance writer online and there are literally only two paths available. This is all anyone wants. Anyway, check back here later for "Top 10 Werewolf x Gnome Romances You HAVE to Read Before You Die."

[Nick Herbert @nherbert5]

Love it when sci-fi shows pretend their ships are boats and everyone is saying stuff like "starboard flight deck" and "aft fuel cells." Sounds cool as hell

[Nick Herbert @nherbert5]

I love the hours-long YouTube playlists people make for incredibly specific situations like "you're in the Arby's drive thru at 11pm after she left you" or "the midwest basement show ur at has just wrapped up and ur buddy Brett thinks he might order dominos, do u want any?"

[Nick Herbert @nherbert5]

@aussieelise @zachsilberberg My pitch was "We Got a Divorce: I Lost a Zoo."

[Nick Herbert @nherbert5]

We only have so long left as a civilization until someone makes a Weezer biopic. We need a Doomsday Clock but for the Weezer movie.

[Nick Herbert @nherbert5]

The perfect Obi-Wan movie would just be Planes, Trains, and Automobiles in space with Obi-Wan (Steve Martin) and Jar-Jar Binks (John Candy) as they try to make it across the galaxy to Bail Organa's birthday party. There are no action setpieces, it's just a road trip comedy.

[Nick Herbert @nherbert5]

Love it when celebrities do commercials. They're just like me if I had to do commercials.