PM Boris Bumblewit

Also known as “Britain Trump” by illiterate pussy-grabbers, and “BoJo Horseman of the apocalypse”.

[PM Boris Bumblewit @NHSApathy]

My exit is oven-ready, but may not happen as quickly or as fully as you may have expected.

[Larry the Cat @Number10cat]

Wanted: New housemate for Westminster based feline. Recently decorated house includes excellent security, lightly used office space and large garden, suitable for hosting parties. Deep clean required.

[PM Boris Bumblewit @NHSApathy]

I’m now appointing positions based on names:
Education: James Cleverly
Home Office: Paul Holmes
Environment: Chris Green/Roger Gale
Defence: Greg Knight/Matt Warman
Treasury: Steve Barclay
Health: Oliver Heald
State (Brexit): James Brokenshire

[No position for Chris Hands]

[PM Boris Bumblewit @NHSApathy]

Exit means Exit.

[Cassetteboy @Cassetteboy]

New! Cassetteboy vs The Tories May 2022. (contains a swear)

[PM Boris Bumblewit @NHSApathy]

https://t.co/vxWfbiKa9f

[PM Boris Bumblewit @NHSApathy]

The Leader of the Conservative Party.
The word “party” is doing more of the heavy lifting in this title, than “conservative” or “leader”.

[PM Boris Bumblewit @NHSApathy]

https://t.co/LGLhF0w7xd
https://t.co/WpaaT5Pj2u

[PM Boris Bumblewit @NHSApathy]

“Thanks Laura, I just want to pay tribute to Allegra Stratton who has provided a marvellous distraction with her resignation today, whilst not answering your question about whether I knew about the party which never happened.”

[PM Boris Bumblewit @NHSApathy]

I see lots of people tweeting #JohnsonOut, but let me warn you that getting my #JohnsonOut has led to all sorts of trouble (just ask the mothers of my kids).

[PM Boris Bumblewit @NHSApathy]

I’m pleased to announce the UK’s new social care initiative, “GoFundMe”, a replacement to the existing benefits system and NHS.

“Social care for the people, by the people.”
Giving power back to individuals; you get to choose who deserves your money, whilst saving the state £bns.

[Andy Ryan @ItsAndyRyan]

SHAFT!

[PM Boris Bumblewit @NHSApathy]

Let’s talk about Europe... it’s my favourite band & I’ve based my career on their message. With bad hair, & doggedly repeating the same rhetoric with little substance, they struck a chord with me.
Hey UK,
We’re leaving together...
It’s The Final Countdown
https://t.co/LgHKOouKTW

[PM Boris Bumblewit @NHSApathy]

Please line up to become an NHS reservist to make up for the NHS funding shortfall. This will help to maintain the quality of dividends for my friends who have already reserved their places in exfiltrating precious funds via NHS service contracts.

[PM Boris Bumblewit @NHSApathy]

It seems that I may have misread the cooking instructions on the ‘oven-ready Brexit’, so please pick which you would prefer:

[PM Boris Bumblewit @NHSApathy]

We shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender Dominic Cummings.

[The Independent @Independent]

Chaotic scenes at beaches as police called to break up fights and large groups https://t.co/PQx5fsFJty

[PM Boris Bumblewit @NHSApathy]

Just to be clear, Dominic Cummings also denies trashing the Blue Peter garden and I’ve instructed all Tory MPs to tweet support for him regarding this.

[PM Boris Bumblewit @NHSApathy]

Our new slogan is "four legs good, two legs better."

[BBC Breaking News @BBCBreaking]

Boris Johnson backs key aide Dominic Cummings amid a row over the aide’s lockdown travel https://t.co/YUJYLTZ5Rn

[PM Boris Bumblewit @NHSApathy]

This is the first time I have been described as ‘stable’.

[BBC News (UK) @BBCNews]

The PM is still in intensive care but is ‘stable’

@bbclaurak and @adamfleming have the latest on Boris Johnson’s condition

🎧 Listen to the #CoronavirusNewscast on @BBCSounds https://t.co/BW7exfxVzu

[PM Boris Bumblewit @NHSApathy]

Nature’s amazing; with the reduction in London traffic, just look at how this bridge has been transformed into a garden. We should consider building such bridges in the future.