Hangover cure:
-invite 2 of your boys over because you don’t wanna be alone
-turns out they’re already on their way because you agreed to binge Severance last night
-turns out so are 3 baddies who played Soccer at your College (they have older brothers so they’re chill)
-one of the girls gives you an aggressive hug then sits too close to you on the couch (it’s sick)
-her calves are mouthwatering and she wears the same perfume as your hot childhood babysitter
-make multiple pots of coffee and watch 3 episodes back to back (pull the window blinds down to eliminate glare on the TV screen)
-go to the gym when the baddies do because you wanna earn your dinner, don’t do cardio just lift weights and randomly bench more than you ever have
-between sets make a playlist of 2010s throwbacks, play it on the drive home and have a sentimental conversation about how “Stay” by Rihanna makes you miss High School
-make a stop at an old folks home so one of the girls (not the one you’re vibing with) can see her grandma, strike up hilarious straight-faced banter with her in the tone of Ryan Gosling, tell her “I disagree I think your grand-daughter’s a rockstar” when she tries to put her down
-get back to your place to learn your boys secured edibles
-make a feast together of biscuits pancakes and over-easy eggs
-watch 2 more episodes then take a pause break to bake brownies
-let the girl ask you where the bathroom is only to pull you to your bedroom where you smash like Matthew McConaughey and Michelle Monaghan in True Detective (don’t even think about wearing a condom)
-rejoin the group as if nothing happened and plan a trip to Charleston the 6 of you
-hug everyone goodnight then 10 minutes later get a text from the girl saying she wants to sleep over
-bang again then smoke a cigarette while she makes fun of guys who spend too much time with their girlfriends
-realize you’re in a phase of your life you already know you’re gonna wanna return to one day (this makes you 10% sad 90% wildly grateful to be alive)
"If everyone did this every day... people would be 40, 50 years old still playing basketball."
Making his 2nd playoff appearance at 22 years old... get an inside look at the routine that keeps Paolo ready!