Nick Calder

Unskilled small horse. Amateur watercolour artist.

[Nick Calder @nickcalder]

Each year, I make one mistake when carving pumpkins for Halloween. This year, when slaughtering the rats to make the stuffing, I prepared WAY too many.

[Nick Calder @nickcalder]

@jerryleewilson Jesus, Jerry. I’m so very sorry.

[Nick Calder @nickcalder]

Now that I think about it, I’m a little surprised that Bigfoot or Grave Digger didn’t speak at the RNC…

[Nick Calder @nickcalder]

@Scottish_Vixen Not to make light, my friend, but I first read that as “thrashy” and I thought that sounded pretty cool! Like a rad metal chick, devil horns thrown up and everything!

[Nick Calder @nickcalder]

Sorry, Voyager 1. It’s a little late to be calling back now. We’ve moved on.

[Nick Calder @nickcalder]

@pirie 60K. OUT THE DOOR.

[Nick Calder @nickcalder]

Finally, I can go back to staring directly at the sun without consequence!

[Nick Calder @nickcalder]

Path of Totality sounds like it would’ve been the 3rd best song on Metallica’s Ride The Lightning.

[Nick Calder @nickcalder]

@cr8tiveCandy I love this, Charlene.

[Nick Calder @nickcalder]

@TrishaReyE They’ll be able to shuffle a whole extra section then!

[Nick Calder @nickcalder]

And just wait until halftime when it’s revealed that they mistakenly booked AN usher instead of Usher.
Everybody will just be shown to different seats for 12 minutes or so. It’ll be fine.

[Nick Calder @nickcalder]

@brightwhite Hahha! I’d love to see David Usher stroll out - all sheepish because he knows full well he misled everyone.

[Nick Calder @nickcalder]

I think it was in poor taste that Reba just shamelessly sang the intro song to her sitcom instead of the national anthem.

[Nick Calder @nickcalder]

@davidfrum Ugh, the tragic state of the world right now. I strongly agree on Ukraine, but vehemently disagree on Israel.

[Nick Calder @nickcalder]

I resist Spirited’s ascension to the Christmas movie re-watch Pantheon with my dying breath.

[Nick Calder @nickcalder]

@GrnEyedGirl1970 I think they’re lovey!!

[Nick Calder @nickcalder]

America and Ranch Dressing. You can talk about freedom, capitalism, apple pie, and anything else you want, but your national obsession with Ranch is what archeologists and even geologists of the future will find, and it’s what you will have to account for at St. Peter’s gate.

[Nick Calder @nickcalder]

I’ve been on a real owl painting kick lately.

[Nick Calder @nickcalder]

@jerryleewilson 84. The magic number was 84 and you just couldn’t do that for me. FOR ME, Jerry!! You couldn’t even do that for me!!!!!!

[Nick Calder @nickcalder]

@jerryleewilson My usage of this has dribbled down to almost nothing. Like hell I’m paying for that.