nicki williams

would like to party and have fun reality is completely different compared to having MS

[nicki williams @nicki1973]

Please sign my petition, greater sentences for paedophiles https://t.co/2nKVZyOKY6

[nicki williams @nicki1973]

@PayPalUK such a shame that a big company never looks after the consumer and always looks after the seller, when there’s a problem with an item and it’s not as described you use PayPal as you think they are going to look after you but instead they dismiss it

[nicki williams @nicki1973]

Made with #Pixlr # - http://t.co/wpxgMBs3Ph

[nicki williams @nicki1973]

@CraigProfessor counting down the days now till you’re on the Isle of Wight,can’t wait very excited

[Andrew Fox @Mr_Andrew_Fox]

I was deployed on combat ops in Afghanistan in 2007 straight from training (punchy but straightforward), 2008 (Buckshee) and 2009 into 2010 (with US Special Forces, very punchy indeed).

Got a bit angry when I got back from that last one; some very violent memories. Had a bit of treatment, all good. Then scroll forward some years and my company and I got blown up in Kenya in 2017 when the training team made a massive cock up and negligently set off a load of battle simulation explosives in the area we were advancing through.

3 of my lads were permanently downgraded with hearing loss. Turns out it was all a horrendous trigger for me: the combination of chain of command negligence, explosions, and seeing my lads in harm’s way… it fully sent my brain over the edge after what I’d done in Afghanistan.

I spent two years as a company commander getting mentally worse and worse. Isolating myself, drinking too much, getting myself into all sorts of trouble, stupid life choices. All to try and make the screaming in my head stop. And chuck in the pressure of an ITV film crew the whole time.

In 2019, I was at the Indy 500 race and an A10 flew over. I had a full flashback. Could feel the dirt of the Afghan Dasht under my fingertips; the sweat on my helmet headband; the same panic and fear; the works. Burst into tears on the spot.

Was posted right after so fell through the Army’s mental health gaps. Was based in N Ireland. Threat indicators for a paratrooper OFF THE CHARTS, so fell apart completely. Disassociation, nightmares of blood every night; the works. Medically retired.

Had more treatment, rumbled along, still wounded but not beaten. Kabul fell in 2021. Huge trigger. Ended up helping over 370 Afghans reach safety, as part of a wider team that rescued 3000. Proud times. The pressure was too much though. Fell apart again.

Reported sick to Op Courage. Amazing treatment. On the mend. But every December to January is filled with endless triggers that always spin me out. Awful anniversaries and memories. Coping better than ever this year, but still fighting a raging gunfight with my own head.

The depression is so real. It feels like an endless weight pressing down on you. Why am I sharing this with 40,000 people? Well, the point is, we all go through shit and it’s really awful, but it’s bearable. Keep going. It’ll work itself through if you get the right help. I’m in a horrible anxiety/depression cycle right now but I know if I keep following the stuff I’ve been taught and trust the process, it’ll be ok.

If you ever feel like this, my DMs are always open. You’ve got this and if you ever need a place to vent, just go for it with me. I’ve got this too. We’re all good. For me, Utrinque Paratus. For you, hold on to that similar stuff that made you who you are today. There’s always hope.

“Though here at journey’s end I lie
in darkness buried deep,
beyond all towers strong and high,
beyond all mountains steep,
above all shadows rides the Sun
and Stars forever dwell:
I will not say the Day is done,
nor bid the Stars farewell.”

[nicki williams @nicki1973]

@CraigProfessor @csav1518 do you know of anywhere for Craig to go in Plymouth? In case you miss him on the island!! Xxx

[nicki williams @nicki1973]

@CraigProfessor do you go near Plymouth on your new tour? Looking forward to seeing you on the Isle of Wight

[nicki williams @nicki1973]

@AndyCSP Hi Grace sending huge hugs to you and your family,so sorry to hear of your loss,your dad will be missed by so many followers and of course everyone who knew and loved him

[nicki williams @nicki1973]

@boohoo_cshelp Have done it

[nicki williams @nicki1973]

@boohoo_cshelp I sent some items back via asda on the 24th Feb and not heard anything yet

[nicki williams @nicki1973]

@Sandford_Police That's my money from selling a pic of my big toe on onlyfans thank you so much,let me know when I can collect it,obviously I will donate a huge percentage to the police benevolent funds

[nicki williams @nicki1973]

@FreemansOnline I've been trying to get a return picked up by parcel force since 22nd November and each day they are meant to turn up no one does,diabolical service

[nicki williams @nicki1973]

@IanGilb99062610 @Foxtrot_Cop Well done to the police for stopping these idiots so quickly,Ian I expect you're very proud of your son he and all his fellow police officers do a very admirable job,I hope he doesn't get told off for not wearing his hat

[nicki williams @nicki1973]

@coralrose_x Not good bubs 😔

[nicki williams @nicki1973]

@720threat Shocking video,I hope that someone thanked the samaritan that went to her aid first and then the others 😳 I haven't read any comments before someone jumps on my comment

[nicki williams @nicki1973]

@coralrose_x Well done we don't have a pot to piss in atm xxx

[nicki williams @nicki1973]

@willowsafc81 Good luck in your new job

[nicki williams @nicki1973]

@anniehvet @DC_PoliceDogs Sending you hugs annie

[nicki williams @nicki1973]

@thatpaulbloomer Love your dancing,ignore the haters they really have such a sad life you have to pity them,keep doing what you want absolutely love it

[nicki williams @nicki1973]

@DesKnight08 @islandecho Bloody grockles need to hurry up and leave,they drive me mad,grockles need to realise that our island and the way they drives xx