nick melillo

999

[hal ✨ @authentichal]

jesus fucking christ

[ok @kenonbullshit]

This shit like practice
Spongebob Spongebob my nigga Patrick

[𝕃𝕆ℝ𝔻 𝔻𝕀𝔸ℕ𝔼𝕏𝕀𝕊 👑 @Dianexis]

Skinny people will eat 1000 calories of junk food a day and 1 800 calorie Taco Bell burrito for dinner. They also don't eat their first meal until 2pm, they're walking/skating/biking everywhere, and consume only caffeine and nicotine in the mornings. That or they'll eat 1 giant meal a day and not eat for the next 2 days.

Fat people sit around all day, say they are "dieting" but really they're lying about how much they eat, and drink 10 Cokes.

Your metabolism isn't a magical thing, it's the results of the way you live your daily life and your overall lifestyle.

[xBROOKSx @xBR00KSx]

They’re never throwing the ball. The WRs are TERRIBLE. Throwing to a 2.5ft TALL WR and a fast WR with literally NO HANDS

My WR room:

WR1: Mewtwo. 6’7 269lbs. Athletic freak. Megatron meets Randy Moss

WR2: Dragonite. 7’3 463lbs. Catch radius. Mike Evans with wings

WR3: Charizard. 5’7 200lbs. Catch radius. Can fly. JaMarr Chase with wings

Slot: Persian. 3’3 70lbs. JSN aka The Kanto route artist

I’m also swapping RB and not having a FB. Rhydon is too slow

RB1: Arcanine. 6’3 341lbs. Derrick Henry but with Bijan agility

[SEC, and CWC Champions @IOnlySayFacts]

Poliwrath over the middle gonna be like Prime Ray Lewis

[pawg$lave @cumclog]

I start every day with 600mg caffeine 30mg adderall and 10mg edible to make me more agreeable

[thaw 🛹 @thawpfp]

whenever im not at work i spend hours pacing around my room and doing ts

[Fetish @FetishBets]

How I feel gambling alone in my room

[SlimeKrewDaily @SlimeKrewTM]

shut the f*ck up grandma

[flawless @cantpickaflaw]

Lemme catch a nigga listening to carti from now on

[ocho @ThenWeLayUp]

lucki survived what kirk could not. that’s god

[BIG COMRADE @earringdealer1]

certain shit u can only read on here 😭

[Rebound @takerebound]

Got way too drunk at my family party last weekend, and my girlfriend told me it was embarrassing that I didn’t know my drinking limits.

Well, I took that personally.

After a lot of self-reflection, I decided that in order to discover my drinking limits, I needed to conduct a thorough analysis on myself. So, last night, I went to a dive bar by myself purely for scientific research. The experiment was simple: drink beer and journal my thought process after every single one to gain a better understanding of my drinking abilities.

Here are my findings:

Beer 1: Tastes good. Can’t wait for another.

Beer 2: Tastes better than the first. Going to see what they have on the menu here.

Beer 3: Was going to order something, but I felt like food would interfere with the integrity of the experiment.

Beer 4: Playoff baseball is on. This is electric. I’m going to place some bets.

Beer 5: My bets already lost. One hand of online blackjack to win it back.

Beer 6: I wonder if anyone in here parties?

Beer 7: Called my guy. He’s coming soon. There’s a guy and girl on a first date next to me. He ordered a White Claw. I gotta let her know he’s a pussy.

Beer 8: Took a shot with an old guy who smells like Red Man tobacco if you microwaved it.

Beer 9: I don’t even know why I’m doing this shit. I don’t even like my girlfriend that much. I miss my ex. She wouldn’t make me do this shit. I might text her.

Beer 10: I texted her. My number is blocked, so I redownloaded Hinge.

Beer 10: Beer 10 hit me so hard I think I actually drank it twice.

Beer 11?: Thinking about how it normally costs $250 to take my girl out to dinner, and that’s like 25 dances at the strip club. Plus, they don’t bitch at me when I get drunk.

Beer 12: Life is a simulation anyway. I don’t care about anything.

I don’t remember anything after that.

Woke up on my kitchen floor covered in syrup. Still not sure what I used it for.

After reviewing the results of the experiment, I’m starting to think my girlfriend might have a point.

[Mr.Duffy — #DuffySzn @mrduffyyy]

10/01 - 12/31 .

4th Quarter — Ball up top.

[BRS @Bryce_Estelle]

Will never forgive him for this version of 80 degrees never being released, literally the reason I stopped listening to leaks and snippets

[Shaun Johnson @ShyBucketGetter]

The one downside of trading for McCarthy is the Giants run the risk of Skattebo realizing he isn’t the same person as Dart which might cause him to reject and eat the young qb

[Parker @Park3rC]

John Harbaugh still hasn't told Skattebo about Dart- they're hoping he doesn't notice like switching out your kid's goldfish when it dies

[Adam Schefter @AdamSchefter]

Trade: Vikings are sending J.J. McCarthy to the New York Giants, sources me, @rapsheet and @mikegarafolo.