Dave

[Dave @nickrootofevil]

well done Belgium, for doing what was right and smashing the USA. It was the right decision.

[Dave @nickrootofevil]

My wife and I are going for a long weekend away from the kids. Don't want to go into specifics, but we can finally get around doing something that we can't when the kids are around if you know what I mens...Have a uninterrupted conversation.

[Dave @nickrootofevil]

Wtf is James Acaster doing in a ghostbuster movie

[Dave @nickrootofevil]

@DavidPayneful Your mum

[Dave @nickrootofevil]

@VitalityBlast Must be hard to find a video of this these days

[Dave @nickrootofevil]

@absoluteradio @leonagraham Mr Fahrenheit

[Dave @nickrootofevil]

@NewbieSlt Is this the practical exam?

[Dave @nickrootofevil]

I called a door company for some folding doors in my house. He
Said, "bi-folding doors?" And i said, "I don't care what sexual orientation they i just want them to fold.".

[Dave @nickrootofevil]

Shortening words can be helpful, but can we NOT shorten tablespoons and teaspoons. Glancing at recipes they both look the same. Now I know there is a thing as too much cinnamon.

[Dave @nickrootofevil]

#edutwitter what period is it best to have your PPA and which which is the worst?
Best. Period 2 (before break)
Worst. Period 5 (last)

[Dave @nickrootofevil]

You couldn't hire someone from Iceland to run the local pub in Eastenders, because they'll Reykjavík.

[Dave @nickrootofevil]

@UnofficialOA I don't know who needs to hear this, but us teachers are adults and can do whatever we want that makes us feel happy and not see unhelpful comments like this.

[Dave @nickrootofevil]

#politics fuck it. It is time to put Ryder and the Paw Patrol in charge of the country. They get stuff done quickly, selfishly and with humour and personality; something we haven't had in a while.

[Dave @nickrootofevil]

The educational system has been funded since they decide to call it the 'three r's' when only one of them begins with r.

[Dave @nickrootofevil]

G.I've got a great idea for a show, it's about turtles.
P. OK...Do they do anything
They are mutant turtles
P. Do they fight?
G.Yes they are ninjas
P. Okay..but how old are they?
G.Teenagers
P. Now we're talking
G.And they're named renaissance painters
P. WHAT?!

[Dave @nickrootofevil]

Should we still teach Shakespeare in schools?

[Dave @nickrootofevil]

@shadylady222 Can it be one of those live unedited films.

[Dave @nickrootofevil]

As I've grown older I've realised I've made good friends because of what sort of parent they are. Decent people make decent parents.

[Dave @nickrootofevil]

@FayeTreacy It is such an awful question. It is also ridiculously personal. I can not think of a situation where you could or should ask that question.

[Dave @nickrootofevil]

An orange is always orange but a tomato isn't always red #CodSayings