nicksmithworld

artist, wit and raconteur -

[The Labour Party @UKLabour]

*unsubscribes immediately*

[nicksmithworld @nicksmithworld]

"Ok, if you could sit really far forward on your seats to create tension, in fact leave your seat for maximum effect!" #fakingit

[nicksmithworld @nicksmithworld]

*Cuts a fish finger into 4, eats with a pair of knitting needles* Domo Arigato #fakingit

[nicksmithworld @nicksmithworld]

Inspired, *reaches for tin of ambrosia rice pudding and sardines #fakingit

[nicksmithworld @nicksmithworld]

Have the Japanese ever tried the fish finger sandwich? #gamechanger #culturalmilestone #fakingit

[nicksmithworld @nicksmithworld]

https://t.co/mwATLd4F7B

[nicksmithworld @nicksmithworld]

"Tom, 'ee saw us, Rex!" #fakingit

[nicksmithworld @nicksmithworld]

Synopsis: Jack Whitehall sells some mince. #fakingit

[nicksmithworld @nicksmithworld]

"Have a squeeze of my pillows!" Ooh chance would be a fine thing #fakingit

[nicksmithworld @nicksmithworld]

Wouldn't it be better episode to turn a market trader into a posh estate agent? #fakingit

[nicksmithworld @nicksmithworld]

Why is broccoli always encased and shrink-wrapped like some Zentai suited pervert, yet cauliflower wears a flouncey peek-a-boo blouse, the hussy!!

[nicksmithworld @nicksmithworld]

@fesshole Let's hear it for privacy eh?!

[nicksmithworld @nicksmithworld]

I shall be donating the £50 to the ARC cat rescue in Wolverhampton, thanks Nationwide #TheBigNationwideThankYou

[nicksmithworld @nicksmithworld]

@fesshole I have something in my eye...

[nicksmithworld @nicksmithworld]

@Herring1967 You are a lucky man, congratulations!

[nicksmithworld @nicksmithworld]

Frumpy old frocks, from a cheesy salesman...not sustainable..#dragonsden

[nicksmithworld @nicksmithworld]

Had his arse handed to him on a plate #dragonsden

[nicksmithworld @nicksmithworld]

All turned to shiitake #dragonsden

[nicksmithworld @nicksmithworld]

This should be called 'Sugar's Cannon Fodder' , 16 idiots line up to be shot #TheApprentice

[Eric Idle @EricIdle]

Unbelievable.