Nicole Elsasser

A serious woman with a cartoon face.

[Nicole Elsasser @nicoleelsasser]

@meowmixtapes Duncan, though we haven't spoken in a long time, I care very much about you. I am PMing you my number. Know that you can call me and hear a friendly voice on the other end.

[Nicole Elsasser @nicoleelsasser]

I WILL SEARCH 4EVER UNTIL I FIND SOMEONE WHO WANTS TO WATCH VIDEOS OF ME AS A BABY!

[Nicole Elsasser @nicoleelsasser]

I feel a great weight was lifted off of me when I made the decision not to watch anymore Riverdale.

[Nicole Elsasser @nicoleelsasser]

Isn't Matthew Mcconaughey such a special person??

[Nicole Elsasser @nicoleelsasser]

I didn't learn the lesson of Lord of The Rings I guess because I am poised to take any magic ring offered to me, consequences be damned!

[Nicole Elsasser @nicoleelsasser]

Sauron was a rude dude. Giving everyone nice rings but then secretly creating one ring to rule them all is bad manners in my book!

[Nicole Elsasser @nicoleelsasser]

I don't feel good & I asked my employees if any of them wanted to brush my hair for the next 6 hours & there weren't any takers: WHYYYYYY?!

[Nicole Elsasser @nicoleelsasser]

I hope I don't lose my sweet childlike innocence.

[Nicole Elsasser @nicoleelsasser]

Do you ever look at guys in bars and wonder if they write poems about murdering you?

[Nicole Elsasser @nicoleelsasser]

I rarely like anything but I do like this: https://t.co/uQAoVN2VP3

[Nicole Elsasser @nicoleelsasser]

Congratulations to the Property Brothers on being twin boys!

[Nicole Elsasser @nicoleelsasser]

If you ever want to shake up how you refer to "Cheech and Chong", I have found "Ol' Sunny and Smokey Weed" a pleasant alternative.

[Nicole Elsasser @nicoleelsasser]

I'm considering adopting "My condolences" as my new catchphrase!

[Nicole Elsasser @nicoleelsasser]

(cont.) With the Ouija board representing emotional selfishness, and her as a demon totally murdering him representing the loss of intimacy.

[Nicole Elsasser @nicoleelsasser]

Paranormal Activity is a parable about the result of putting your own feelings ahead of your partners & not listening with loving open ears.

[Nicole Elsasser @nicoleelsasser]

Oh, I think one entendre is fine for me, thanks.

[Nicole Elsasser @nicoleelsasser]

WHAT'S THE POINT OF EXIT SIGNS??

DOORS ARE THE ONLY EXIT SIGNS I COULD WANT OR NEED!

[Nicole Elsasser @nicoleelsasser]

Anthony Hopkins in The Edge is the John Wick of outdoor survival movies: a dude u r never actually worried about doing stuff really well!

[Nicole Elsasser @nicoleelsasser]

Is The Edge the best movie in the world???

[Tall Sigh @TallSigh]

https://t.co/9H63n1XoXS