Barry Simon's other servant

I serve at the pleasure of three cats. My wife aids and supports me in this vocation. What else matters?

[Barry Simon's other servant @nieboh]

I sometimes make twitter a word game where I try to make my thoughts conform to however many characters they give me. I don't let grammar suffer, but I may search for a synonym to replace a word, rephrase a thought to shave a character or two, that sort of thing.
My score is 0.

[Barry Simon's other servant @nieboh]

@kilkapital Them: "Are you hungry?"
Me: "Oh, I kinda am. Is that why I'm being such a jerk? Well, you go on doing whatever dumbfuck thing you were doing that got me riled to begin with. I'm gonna go get a sandwich. Thanks."

[Barry Simon's other servant @nieboh]

@MHTruthUltra They realized no one's going to believe a failed attempt and staging the believable kind is a much harder to sell to the Donald, even with his diminished capacity.

[Barry Simon's other servant @nieboh]

@JillFilipovic If your fingers are going into your eyeballs, you've gone too far. Ideally your fingers just sort of hover above your eyeball by a few millimeters while the lens reaches out to make contact.

[Barry Simon's other servant @nieboh]

@JohnAndersn3c8 @DrFrankTurek People are built gullible. It was an evolutionary advantage that got coopted into a protection racket.

[Barry Simon's other servant @nieboh]

@LouisV1099 @TemiXo_1 Oh, so we've moved past the superficial meaning of "Why don't the sluts just keep their legs closed?"

[Barry Simon's other servant @nieboh]

@MBAGirly @cowgirl_bebop For a small fee they do. Or, if you don't want to pay that, there's a fee to disable them. If you don't want to pay that, then why are you handing over $75 for application fees? We thought you just enjoyed paying fees.

[Barry Simon's other servant @nieboh]

@bounce2theounc1 @cowgirl_bebop When I was teaching, classtime hours were a small part of my day. If I took papers home to grade am I "working from home"?

If I was a student, could I tell my teacher we're not paying the extra $200/mo so no "home work" for me?

[Barry Simon's other servant @nieboh]

@MarthaH49758600 @cowgirl_bebop Yes, absolutely unreasonable under all circumstances. You think you get to charge me more to stay in the apartment you're renting if I spend too much time in there? Are you kidding?
Then put in the lease how many hours of the day I'm allowed to utilize my apartment. I dare you.

[Barry Simon's other servant @nieboh]

@BabyBear2115 @cowgirl_bebop Who is claiming tax deductions for having a "home office"?

Probably could find a way to deduct any nonrefundable application fees paid out, in that case.

[Barry Simon's other servant @nieboh]

@3rdsonx @cowgirl_bebop Well, if you're working out in there, they might have to tack on a "gym use fee".

[Barry Simon's other servant @nieboh]

@hookskat I'm curious about exactly what factors determine which camp you fall into for "other world religion", "other faiths", and "nothing in particular".

[Barry Simon's other servant @nieboh]

@LouisV1099 @TemiXo_1 And there are just as many men who will abdicate any responsibility for their actions. To hear them, the man has almost no role in this at all. As if their will had vanished.
Not a strawman, just an understanding that many men will duck any blame because "her knees were parted".

[Barry Simon's other servant @nieboh]

@LouisV1099 @TemiXo_1 Yes. Every woman is an irresistible siren to men. If her knees part, even by an inch, there will be a man there trying to fill that gap. Since men cannot possibly constrain themselves, the onus must be 100% on the woman at all times.

[Barry Simon's other servant @nieboh]

@Bookhermit1 @BillWiIdin It's up to each of us to keep up the pressure. Keep those "employee discounts" coming and they'll get tired of having us be the employees.

[Barry Simon's other servant @nieboh]

@BillWiIdin Aren't you? If you manage to successfully scan nineteen out of every twenty items you attempt, that's pretty good for untrained help, no?

[Barry Simon's other servant @nieboh]

@wolfestar4 @omgsidewalks I am not certain any of my cats have ever felt theirself to be misbehaving. The others, sure, and they have no trouble ratting each other our for their crimes and misdemeanors, but they themselves are faultless.

[Barry Simon's other servant @nieboh]

@omgsidewalks They can hear a mouse scurrying in a wall three rooms away but can't hear me telling her to get off the counter.

[Barry Simon's other servant @nieboh]

@hookskat Isn't this why most baptisms are done before a child learns to question authority?

[Barry Simon's other servant @nieboh]

@ABenjumeda79956 @ZainabSana2622 I know that some struggle with the idea of pronouns, but she said "we", and it looks like you've chosen to reply with the singular form of "you" rather than the plural. You don't believe women are being killed? Or you just don't believe the one person who wrote that has been?

[Barry Simon's other servant @nieboh]

@EyeOSauron @WallStreetApes The government, and those who have purchased it.