julianna

26 ⋆ #XAVIER's ⟢ affinity 234 ⋆ chronically ill + disabled ⋆ irl purple girl ⋆ #1 when shooting stars fall fan 🌟 sword star charm x cane star charm ♡

[julianna @nightvowed]

hi, friends. im sorry it's been a while. life is really difficult right now

my health is the same as ever, if not worse. im currently awaiting my MRI results, my youngest sister is undergoing treatment for an eating disorder, and my mom has just been diagnosed w breast cancer

i know it's unfair of me to ask for emotional support after disappearing and isolating myself from everybody, but i don't have anywhere else to turn. the universe is apparently very intent on kicking my family while we're down

im not sure what else to say, my mind is both numb and scrambled atm

before the most recent news hit, i was actually hoping to show u guys my new walker when i felt okay enough to return here. i don't feel okay at all, but i'm including it here anyway as a tiny sliver of positive news (i have a little more safety and mobility around my home now) to end off such an otherwise upsetting post

this really isn't the kind of update i expected to come back with. im sorry

💜

[julianna @nightvowed]

thank u so much for saying this 🥺💜 fortunately my family's handling everything better than i am, since they're all ultimately able-bodied so they can still go outside to work, school, gym, dinners, shopping etc and try to live normally right now, even despite their illnesses. i'm still housebound as always outside of medical appointments every 4-6 months so there isn't really any joy to be found for me 🥹 now that it's not just my own health to be worrying about i just feel like i'm falling apart mentally

[julianna @nightvowed]

hi, friends. im sorry it's been a while. life is really difficult right now

my health is the same as ever, if not worse. im currently awaiting my MRI results, my youngest sister is undergoing treatment for an eating disorder, and my mom has just been diagnosed w breast cancer

i know it's unfair of me to ask for emotional support after disappearing and isolating myself from everybody, but i don't have anywhere else to turn. the universe is apparently very intent on kicking my family while we're down

im not sure what else to say, my mind is both numb and scrambled atm

before the most recent news hit, i was actually hoping to show u guys my new walker when i felt okay enough to return here. i don't feel okay at all, but i'm including it here anyway as a tiny sliver of positive news (i have a little more safety and mobility around my home now) to end off such an otherwise upsetting post

this really isn't the kind of update i expected to come back with. im sorry

💜

[julianna @nightvowed]

@eepiebunny i can't even tell u how much i appreciate this 🥺💜 thank u so dearly. life feels really bleak and painful right now for all of us but if there's anything i've learned from u, it's to just take life one day at a time and cherish every little moment spent with loved ones 🥹

[julianna @nightvowed]

thank u so so much lovely 🥺💜 i'm so sorry ur post doesn't show up in my notifs at all, i'm not sure why twt is trying to hide it 😞 i really really appreciate u saying this and i'm so happy ur mom is doing better now 🫂 it gives me hope to know others have gone through similar situations + come out okay on the other side

[julianna @nightvowed]

@Certaefied it's not weird at all 🥺🫂 i really, truly appreciate the kindness from this community + people keeping my family in their thoughts. it's one of the only things keeping me going right now

[julianna @nightvowed]

that is true, i know ur right 🥺 i do try to keep in mind that most don't tend to openly share their worst pulls, but i always forget that people also just lie or their “got card in 10 pulls” is because their pity was already at 10 pulls until the next 5*

i just wish This banner out of all of them could've been the one to give me a break, or at least not be the worst luck yet. like make me suffer during his next banner, fine, but not after learning the news i learned this week WHILE recovering from my hospital appt 😭😭

[julianna @nightvowed]

within the span of 7 days, this final week of may has consisted of being in the hospital for my MRI, suffering a major symptoms flare/crash from it, discovering my mom's cancer diagnosis, and now my worst ever multibanner luck yet for one of my most-awaited 🌟 cards that was meant to be my single little shred of comfort through all this

im so emotionally numb at this point that i can't even bring myself to feel sad. how naive of me to think that the universe would allow me even the smallest of breaks during this time

[julianna @nightvowed]

@rafsthiccbicc i wish ☹️ all the other 🌟 whalers max rank his cards so easily. im the only one ive seen who routinely has the worst possible luck when pulling for him every time

[julianna @nightvowed]

@TheTenshiSama1 😞🫂🫂 mine was 129 just for a single copy of 21 days, and 328 for r3. he even made sure that 2/3 of my losses were to his own cards that i've already long since maxed out so i couldn't even benefit from it 🥲

[julianna @nightvowed]

@rafsthiccbicc ilysm star 😭🫂💜 im so tired. when i found out about the banner i was so excited to finally own one of my favourite cards ever, especially during one of the worst weeks of my life, only for it to end up contributing to that experience. both he and this game actually hate me lol

[julianna @nightvowed]

thank u so much for this 🥺💜 i really appreciate it. im so sorry the bad luck hit u too 🫂 im not even the type who ever expects “got the card in 10 pulls” kind of luck, im just tired of going all the way to 63+ pulls only to lose every time and have to do 63+ more

it's definitely my own fault at this point for continuing to try to max rank his cards when i know my account is especially unlucky. in my entire time of playing the game, i've only won 27 of my 50/50s and lost almost 60 of them lmao 🥲

[julianna @nightvowed]

@Noyuki16 😭🫂💜

[julianna @nightvowed]

@MrWhite79208 🫂🫂🫂💜🥺

[julianna @nightvowed]

@hicmiaw 😭🫂💜💜

[julianna @nightvowed]

@novayapss ilysm nova, thank u so much for this 💜🫂 it genuinely feels like we can't catch a break. in my entire household, 3/4 of us now are in and out of hospital care 😭 the universe is out to get us at this point

[julianna @nightvowed]

@AtnicXavier thank u so so much lovely 🥺🫂💜

[julianna @nightvowed]

@lvs_starvier thank u so so much moon 😭💜🫂🫂

[julianna @nightvowed]

@emexplosiongirl thank u so so much emma 😭🫂💜 this means everything to me, i truly appreciate it

[julianna @nightvowed]

@shilaaryn ive missed u so much 😭💜💜 thank u for being so so kind. i would give anything for a real life hug right now 🫂🫂

[julianna @nightvowed]

@TheTenshiSama1 this really means the world to hear 😭🫂 this week especially has been hard to enjoy anything, it's more like i'm numbly going through the motions of my game dailies as a distraction, but i figure even that is better than blankly staring at my bedroom ceiling crying

[julianna @nightvowed]

@herayashira ur too kind thank u so so much hera 😭😭💜💜 it's not false at all, i genuinely appreciate it so deeply bc im trying to hold onto every possible shred of hope 🫂