I have spent years regretting that my bed, while excellent for bondage, is a terrible height for bending someone over
today I learned that my bed is the perfect height for kneeling on the floor while I eat box
I love this bed, actually
[earlier today]
“come on, wake up! it’s already after 10 and you promised you’d make me breakfast”
“but I was having a very important dream about fucking you with the Nova”
“you know if you wake up we can do that for real, right?”
“OKAY I’M UP”
datemate doesn’t wanna have sex in front of their stuffed animals, which I can respect, but I’m not allowed to even KISS them in front of the squishmallow