TheHoff'sTightSpeedo

[TheHoff'sTightSpeedo @ninjasandbacon]

What does Lady Doritos and my wife have in common? They're both bags that don't give blow jobs.

[TheHoff'sTightSpeedo @ninjasandbacon]

Hey @PepsiCo , when can I expect a bag of Tostitties to hit the shelves? #LadyDoritos

[TheHoff'sTightSpeedo @ninjasandbacon]

Panera #IWouldNameMyRockBand

[TheHoff'sTightSpeedo @ninjasandbacon]

New Addition #UnwantedBoyBandNames

[TheHoff'sTightSpeedo @ninjasandbacon]

Oh, so when I peak into windows it's suddenly creepy!? #ThingsNotToSayToSanta

[TheHoff'sTightSpeedo @ninjasandbacon]

@DancesWithTamis O cum, on ye titties?

[TheHoff'sTightSpeedo @ninjasandbacon]

Girls in white dresses with Pabst Blue ribbon. #HipsterXmasSong

[TheHoff'sTightSpeedo @ninjasandbacon]

@macyhollingsed @Thefluuu What a tragedy! Why wasn't it the ATM!!?

[TheHoff'sTightSpeedo @ninjasandbacon]

First text from 25 years ago: "Wow, this really works!"

Second text: "Send boobs!"

[TheHoff'sTightSpeedo @ninjasandbacon]

@GlinkLive Welcome to the team!

[TheHoff'sTightSpeedo @ninjasandbacon]

Penny back. #IsWorseThanNickelback

[TheHoff'sTightSpeedo @ninjasandbacon]

@DancesWithTamis Well, it can be a chunky soup...... I'll see myself out.

[TheHoff'sTightSpeedo @ninjasandbacon]

@nashveggie @gamesyouloved Dope

[TheHoff'sTightSpeedo @ninjasandbacon]

Be hot. Join Instagram. #HowToBePopularIn4Words

[TheHoff'sTightSpeedo @ninjasandbacon]

@kiIIakaye I'm only good for the shortest track. Probably the into :(

[TheHoff'sTightSpeedo @ninjasandbacon]

Kevin Spacey did a terrible thing, but the "House of Cards" pun is excruciating.

[TheHoff'sTightSpeedo @ninjasandbacon]

Hugh Hefner already lived in Paradise. On to the bonus round!!

[TheHoff'sTightSpeedo @ninjasandbacon]

McDonald's Twocanwine for $9.99 #BadNamesForWine

[TheHoff'sTightSpeedo @ninjasandbacon]

Aqua Velva #BadNamesForWine

[TheHoff'sTightSpeedo @ninjasandbacon]

@chrisrock Never forget never forgetting, everyone! It's the only way to remember things.