You will never realize how alone you are until you have a bad day and you have no one to talk to about it, so you just be on your phone till you fall asleep.
hey girl how was your weekend?! oh that’s great haha love that!! oh me? not much u know the usual ruminating decomposing spiraling crying fearing curling up in a fetal position wondering where it all went wrong dying rotting decaying staring into nothingness wondering Why me why
sometimes i fantasize about suicide just so ppl would blame themselves for every wrong thing they've ever done to me but the sad realistic truth is they'd cope to convince themselves it's not their fault and move on. i'd want them to think it's their fault tho so sucks ig
Being suicidal is horrible because you can end up feeling like the only reason you’re still alive is for other people, not because you actually want to live for yourself.
how DO you not tie your self worth to your performance. how am i supposed to feel good about myself when i get nothing done and nothing i do is good and i suck at every game/hobby i try
top 4 feelings:
1. showering when no one's home.
2. playing music and singing when no one's home.
3. coming home to an empty house.
4. cleaning when no one's home.