😶‍🌫️

[Josh Rainer @JoshRainerGold]

Anyone who believes in more conspiracy theories than me is a retard; anyone who believes in fewer is a slave

[paige @BonerWizard]

when I first went to Texas Roadhouse as a kid and saw all those peanut shells on the floor, I couldn’t believe it. I was like this is insane!!!!

[😶‍🌫️ @nisavocado]

@peachsweet_tea is she the same one who goes to the zoo multiple times a week for “zoo fries” 😵‍💫

[Pilgrim @VLONEPREDATOR]

What if Travis’s CTE activates when they’re alone on their honeymoon and he kiIIs Taylor

[Bees 🐝 @bees_cult]

Most people would think my husband is unattractive because he is short

But when I look at him I see all the finances he’s poured into me, my children, my house and vacations

Because he’s given me so much money over the years my attraction to him has never been higher

[Jodie @JodieWoahdie]

Trans women: "I was prevented from learning makeup, had no access, no resources"

Gay boys at age 14 with nothing but their mom's Sephora card and YouTube:

[miia @miiagarro]

i’d rather my man be doing money laundering and tax fraud than selfies and curated ig dumps

[angel @angelshit]

When the distance is a little erotic

[AYANNY @gaygirldiaries]

“i dont need to drink or smoke to have fun” okay congrats btch you can drive then

[Essy @foxyessy]

I’m so sick of men apologizing to me. Shut the fuck up and beg instead.

[Blaira @ForeverThatG1RL]

By three that child needs to be potty trained. What the fuck are y’all doing as parents lol

[7 @politefoid]

How it feels to have a ton of trauma but no triggers

[ROSE LANI @pradamercury]

Watching New Yorkers gearing up for the most joyful summer ever with their hot competent mayor and their functional public transportation

[💀DeathMetalViking💀 @DeathMetalV]

Man if someone showed a photo of Obama speaking to some evil wizard alien looking mother fuckers you mouth breathers would have blown every vessel in your brain.

[miss worm @missus_wormy]

I was once the girl who sat in her boyfriend’s car while he did doordash. it’s probably something I should speak to a therapist about to figure out why.

[Taurus Groove @jiggyjayy2]

Why would you have 3 kids with someone who makes 40K and choose not to work though, and i mean that so respectfully

[ZachInMilwaukee @ZachInMillioke]

This is literally all I can think about whenever I see her name pop up

[maia ☆🇵🇸 @maiadidntwakeup]

That one ex-friend that was lowkey supposed to be in your life forever

[ًً @stoyatel]

"Credit & debt are just numbers. Are you scared of numbers? I’m not"