With an H

Mama. Teacher. Napper. Couch Commentator. “Funny and really disgusting.” You don’t have to tell me, I know. #wholeham

[With an H @nittwit10]

You know when a girl rips open a guy’s shirt with desire? I just did that. With my taco wrapper. #monstertacosforlife

[With an H @nittwit10]

I’m imagining my sheets whispering to each other- “Watch this- I’m gonna ball up again so I’ll never dry. She’s gonna LOSE her shit.” #sheetsareaholes

[With an H @nittwit10]

“Coldfinger”- my OBGYN might be a James Bond villain.

[With an H @nittwit10]

I think my littlest is getting a little passive aggressive. #thebird

[With an H @nittwit10]

I will neither confirm nor deny that I tried to put the carrot downtown and was shamed out of it by my 4 year old niece. #squareup #onegoal #carrots #youwouldhaveletme #nocarrotshame

[With an H @nittwit10]

Was at an off campus training all day. It was great, but it was pajama day at school, so I’m feeling robbed. #seriousinjustice #teacherstruggles #myuggsmadeupforit #warmtoes

[With an H @nittwit10]

“100 days” is always a milestone for teachers. Now that I’ve checked 100 school days off my list, the 100 day COUNTDOWN has begun. #gameon #allthefeels

[Marvel Studios @MarvelStudios]

100 Days. #AvengersEndgame is in theaters April 26.

[With an H @nittwit10]

Little known fact- this song is about eating bread when you're gluten free.
https://t.co/LEYtRxSP8A

[With an H @nittwit10]

Trying to pull together a short story about cats for a local writing contest, but all I've written is 300 words about my cat's prominently displayed asshole. #literaryanus #notgonnawin

[With an H @nittwit10]

https://t.co/u9P3RciVJR
By gold, he's clearly referring to nacho cheese. So, yeah, I hope there's some in them hills. #nachoup #dontlosefaith

[With an H @nittwit10]

Just had to explain to my oldest that a cavity search does NOT involve a dentist. And, if it ever does, he should probably find a new one.

[With an H @nittwit10]

I’m finger painting. With chip grease. Onto my jeans. Happy Friday! @Fritolay #napkinsareoverrated

[With an H @nittwit10]

It’s like my computer peeked into my soul this morning. #stillteaching #letbreakbegin

[With an H @nittwit10]

Always nice to see a former student recognized in the local paper. #proudteacher #itaughthimeverythingheknows

[With an H @nittwit10]

Remember in Season 1 when Daenerys eats the horse heart? My student did when he was painting his snowman. Happy holidays from Frosty the Khaleesi. 😬 #GameofThrones

[With an H @nittwit10]

New workout regime- carrying my weighted blanket from the couch to my bed. Resistance training is intense.

[With an H @nittwit10]

“Actively trying to poop in your pants is NOT what I mean when I ask you to check your body to see if you need to poop!” #thingsiyellatmyboys #sogrossbuteffective #hedidntlearnthatfromme

[With an H @nittwit10]

“This is the most awkward thing I have ever done!”
My littlest trying to pee with his rollerblades and safety gear still on. #bladelife

[With an H @nittwit10]

Yoga’s real purpose is to remind you to wash your feet. WITH soap. #downwarddogsarebarking #communalmatsaregross #betweenthetoes

[With an H @nittwit10]

I’m right. They’re wrong. #educated #teachingouryouth #smartcookie

[With an H @nittwit10]

My littlest can’t block for shit on the basketball court, but put him in front of me on the sidewalk when we’re trying to walk to school-it’s like he’s being scouted by the NBA. #brickwall #theglove