Nehemiah Putnam

at the age of six, i was born without a face.

[Nehemiah Putnam @nnnnp_p]

Haters say it's fake. 💦

[🎣 Bass Master 🔊 @TheRealMrTrees]

People will be like “nobody cares about your Spotify wrapped” and then post a picture of their baby

[strong_don_chad @strong_don_chad]

I've got a better idea! Why don't I call someone whose JOB it is to conquer Earth?

[dieDoktor @dieDoktor]

Yeah, I don't. I just want money. Sue me.

[Nehemiah Putnam @nnnnp_p]

I’m 23 and i still don’t know the correct way to use my defrost

[Nehemiah Putnam @nnnnp_p]

Why do girls post selfies from 5 years ago. Like what’s the point

[Nehemiah Putnam @nnnnp_p]

Shout out to my peeps who go to Sportsclips

[Capitable.Casey @heli_CASE]

Ladies and Gentlemen, we got him.

[jose @hoesayb_]

don’t you ever leave us like that again

[been carson @ms__lazarus]

spongebob is funnier than seinfeld I will not be reading the replies

[Jordan Deeb @Jordan_Deeb]

GameStop sitting amongst Tesla and Amazon after reddit users make it a Fortune 500 company

[Chad Prather @WatchChad]

Joe Biden barking about yesterday’s events when he stayed consistently silent while American cities burned is the height of hypocrisy.

[Ben Shapiro @benshapiro]

A horrible day for the country. Violent rioting inside the Capitol must be met with the full brunt of the law.

[Ben Shapiro @benshapiro]

Strong words in defense of a man who showed up at his girlfriend's house -- a girlfriend who had previously alleged digital rape by him -- and then proceeded to resist arrest while admitting to holding a knife.

Any words on the complete destruction of all freedom in Hong Kong?

[Nehemiah Putnam @nnnnp_p]

I’m now at the point in life where i spend my night looking at reviews for mattresses

[Casual Thursday @CasualThursday]

Ten years from now you’ll put on a jacket and find a mask in the pocket. “Oh man, what a weird year that was,” you’ll chuckle to yourself. Then you’ll pick up your machete and continue across the wasteland, keeping to the shadows to avoid the roving gangs of cannibal raiders.

[venus as a they @lgbtop]

i give everyone permission to milk my death for personal benefits if i die. idc if we’re just acquaintances, if we ever talked and i suddenly drop dead one day i want you to tell your boss you just lost a friend and take the day off. my treat