britsh_but_not_english

[Ayo @Alhajirostova]

American: So there are terrorists causing problems in your country, right?

Nigerian: Yes.

American: That's terrible. Is the government at least doing something about it?

Nigerian: Well, our president addressed the issue.

American: Oh. What did he say?

Nigerian: He spoke about the law of lawf in the holy book

American: ...The law of love?

Nigerian: I guess

American: Okay. Did you send the military after them?

Nigerian: Hmm... at times.

American: What do you mean "at times"?

Nigerian: Sometimes we've heard the military went after them. In some cases, the terrorists ended up killing military personnel.

American: Wait. They killed your soldiers?

Nigerian: Yes.

American: Okay, so then your government retaliated and finished them off, right?

Nigerian: Mm... nah.

American: What do you mean "nah"?

Nigerian: Well, our president also gave an example from the Bible about the prodigal son on how we should accept them with love.

American: Hold on. The prodigal son?

Nigerian: Yes.

American: I'm confused. So you're telling me terrorists killed military personnel, and the response was a Bible lesson?

Nigerian: Something like that.

American: So you guys aren't doing anything?

Nigerian: No, no. We're doing something.

American: Okay. What are you doing?

Nigerian: We're rehabilitating the ones we catch.

American: You're... rehabilitating them?

Nigerian: Yes.

American: Not prosecuting them?

Nigerian: Not according to our president, no.

American: WTF WTF WTF

Nigerian: I never even tell you anything, you don dey cry

[Bambulu 2.0 @BambuluMen]

Modern marriage is glorified slavery for men. Your provision of her needs is NOT negotiable, but her submission to you is.

[tammy† @tammyfrmdao]

for fela mind now he go think say he witness bad government.

[Zuko💋 @xo_dolph]

Gayest thing a nvgga could ever do is attend driving school .

[ᜰ @socetyhatesjay]

your babe go dey give you attitude, you go confuse. you go dey think say you don fuck up somewhere meanwhile she dey get issues with her second boyfriend.

[Ayo @Alhajirostova]

nnamdi azikiwe no go believe say him currency no fit buy bread and beans 😭

make tafawa balewa no even bother 😂😂

[- @uche_xxi]

na men still turn am😂😂
god abeg

[britsh_but_not_english @no_tweeps]

@Philopearl_Afc How many goals more than ISak?

[a meek thug @gib_smoke]

naija girls too funny dawg! you wan snatch me from woman wey dey buy me things so i go dey buy you things 😂

[Esihle @Thato_Rachidi]

Me realizing no one stole that money from me, I actually used it😭…

[Falcon 👑🖤 @royal_falcon5]

Una don notice say elders no de advice person again......wetin de sup now dem never experienceam before 😭😂

[MAKANAKI @black_bhoy_]

Timber catch Estevao for him wing this time, he first give am yellow card make he know say men mount.
Estevao run go Hincapie side, Hincapie nearly take him life 😂

[USAGI-Rx is painfully employed. @JORMUNGAND_rr]

There was the interview where a black guy said if a girl asks him for money he feels it's insulting, cos she wouldn't ask Jude Bellingham for money its the poorer guy, the technician, the 9-5er that she would ask for money.
It's a straight up insult

[Disco King 🇿🇦 @jefszn]

That’s why I leave women empowerment strictly in the hands of NPOs and the Government.

[Ja Leto @_falsi1ke]

As a man you should never watch your woman struggle to pay bills. Dump her and find one with some money.

[Chidera Chukwu 🇳🇬🇲🇽 @chriseciaokoye]

In Nigeria when you find someone talking alone,leave them,your time will come.

[Babalola Esq.⚖️ @Owiggy_]

How did your day go is a complete long conversation starter but naija babe go tell you fine

[Esihle @Thato_Rachidi]

Teacher giving back benchers the authority to monitor the class😭……

[︎ًLevi @WittyLevi]

You called…