I don't know why the fuck it's so difficult to just straight up be honest with someone, it's magnitudes better than getting my hopes up by convincing me that I look "totally average" which I briefly believe,
All I know is that I needed to write it just to maybe help me understand what’s going on right now. Should I call? Should I go back to see him? I don’t know.
I want to do to him what he did to me. My morals wont let me, but there are days where I just want to find someone to be close with and see where it goes.