Noah Sampson

[Noah Sampson @noahsampson_]

Onboard the @Amtrak NextGen Acela! Only 7 hours from NY to Boston. 3 hours of travel and 4 hours of sitting on the platform. What a complete joke

[Noah Sampson @noahsampson_]

@Amtrak is a complete joke. Advice for future travelers: take the scheduled arrival time and add 2.5 hours, that’s your actual arrival time.

[Noah Sampson @noahsampson_]

RIP $6 meal deal @dunkindonuts

[Noah Sampson @noahsampson_]

@TimmyKal12 Trevor story got it covered

[Noah Sampson @noahsampson_]

Second time I’ve had a pair of @apple AirPods go to waste because one ear just won’t turn on. @apple products are complete junk.

[Noah Sampson @noahsampson_]

Every @UberEats promotion is a scam. They make you spend more money to get a small discount and then hit you with higher fees. Nice try big tech.

[Noah Sampson @noahsampson_]

The Apple TV remote has to be one of the worst designed pieces of technology of all time. Probably designed poorly so they can break and @Apple can sell more of them. Scammers

[Noah Sampson @noahsampson_]

Everyone I know has an iPhone, and almost everyone I know has an iPhone with a broken charging port, @tim_cook you are a crook. @Apple

[Noah Sampson @noahsampson_]

Studies show that humans waste approximately 6.5 years of their lives waiting for automatic faucets to turn on

[Noah Sampson @noahsampson_]

Nothing like the head rush after standing up from a long water fountain pull

[Noah Sampson @noahsampson_]

@charliekbarnett We wouldn’t get hit in the face by people’s umbrellas on the sidewalk

[Noah Sampson @noahsampson_]

If I was president umbrellas would be illegal

[Noah Sampson @noahsampson_]

Never flying @Delta again

[Noah Sampson @noahsampson_]

We’re all pawns in Apple’s game of chess

[Noah Sampson @noahsampson_]

@BobbyBartlett19 Snow cones, Italian ice, you name it

[Noah Sampson @noahsampson_]

A massive spider just crawled into my pile of clean laundry. I’m fucking ruined

[Noah Sampson @noahsampson_]

You just rung me up for an 8$ ice cream cone, no I’m not going to tip

[Noah Sampson @noahsampson_]

I’m going to invent a new fridge ice dispenser that gets all the cubes in my cup and not on my kitchen floor

[Noah Sampson @noahsampson_]

Putting cash back into your wallet while holding an ice cream cone should be a sport

[Noah Sampson @noahsampson_]

I only know how to tie my shoes doing bunny ears